ROCKY BECOMES A HEALER
by
Anthonystjoseph
Rocky and
his owner are walking through the park.
“Hey man,
you have got to cheer up.”
“I can’t
Rocky, I just miss Linda so much.”
“Hey man,
face it, she left you! You find one
piece of trim, you find another. Rocky’s
rules.”
“It’s not
the same in the human world like it is in your dog world Rocky.”
“Man
up! We’re all dogs. The sooner you learn that, the better off you’ll
be.”
“I’m not
made like you Rocky. I can’t just hit it
and quit it all the time. I want to get
married.”
“Oh
geez. You’re killing me man. You’re killing me.”
“Rocky, I
want to get married, don’t you understand!
I need a woman, ONE woman.”
“Wuss! GIRL! POODLE!”
“Shut up
Rocky, you don’t know anything. You’re
just happy ‘Lovely’ is gone.”
“Actually,
Rocky isn’t happy about that at all. Our
pal ‘Lovely’ actually had a good effect on Rocky getting extra trim. All the lady dogs thought I was a great guy
protecting him against Red that day in the dog park. Plus, ‘Lovely’ kept the kennel room all neat
and tidy, great roommate actually. You
don’t see me moping around all day moaning and groaning because he’s gone
though, do you.”
“What am I
going to do without Linda though Rocky? I
loved her.”
“Lord help
me, what did I do to end up with this sap.
MAN UP!”
Rocky’s
owner sits down on a bench and starts to quietly weep as Rocky looks around
worried they’ll be seen.
“What in the
hell! Are you crying!?! Help!
Help! Somebody take me to the
pound! Humane Society! ANYTHING!
You have lost your mind. There is
a man code and I will turn you in. I am
a Rottweiler, a ROTTWEILER! Shouldn’t
you have gotten a poodle or a Yorkie with your sensibilities? As a Rottweiler, I am not equipped to deal
with too much sentiment. Wrong breed
dude, wrong breed.”
“Have a
heart Rocky; I’m hurting here.”
“Heaven help
me.”
Rocky sits
down next to his owner and looks around to make sure no one is listening.
“Okay man,
I’ll try, besides, if you cry too much longer I might have to turn in my sharp
teeth to the Rottweiler Foundation for not using them on you. Okay, look here poodle, I see all the ladies
looking at you at the dog park. Sure,
most of them are looking at you because Rocky is so adorable, but some of them
are actually looking at you because you’re you.
You’re a good guy. You’re… What
do they call that? What do they call
that? Let me see, let me see,…
SENSITIVE! That’s it, yeah, you’re
sensitive, and the ladies in your world, unlike my dog world; they go for
that. You’ll find another lady, take my
word for it poodle.”
“You think
so?”
“I know so.”
“Oh Rocky, I
don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Hey, hey,
hey, reel it in poodle, reel it in.
Rocky doesn’t do the droopy.
Rottweiler, remember, Rott-Weiler!
We don’t do droopy. This little
conversation is all my droopy for the entire year, maybe an entire lifetime.”
“I love you
Rocky.”
“Oh my
precious Rottweiler genes. Dude, if you
don’t man up and stand up and throw that gosh darn stick so Rocky can fetch it,
I am going to take you out myself… Rocky
needs to chase a stick! Rocky needs to
chase a stick and get back to some basics so Rocky can forget the last fifteen
minutes ever happened. Throw the stick
poodle, throw the stick! Stand up, and
throw ~ the ~ STICK!”
He stands up
and throws the stick as Rocky runs and chases down the stick then returns to
his owner and they start the walk back home.
“You know
what Rocky?”
“What
poodle?”
“I love you
man.”
“I know
poodle, I know.”
By
Anthonystjoseph
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and protected by law
and protected by law
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