Saturday, June 30, 2012

Where's Your Pride?


 

Where’s Your Pride?

by

Anthonystjoseph


     Unfortunately I had to go to a place this week that I rarely like to go to…  It’s a place where somebody gets my GOAT!  I ran into a man who was an individual that was so without any ethics, morals, principles, or any type of a scruple whatsoever.  The problem that this man presented to me was that he was one of my workers on a construction and remodeling project that I was managing.  At a certain point I realized the worker was more interested in ‘collecting’ items from the jobsite than actually working and doing what he was hired to do…  It became so obvious with his wandering eyes and pilfering hands that I realized this man had no pride and was clearly letting the world know, I’m here to steal.  He was a real life hyena or Australian Dingo completely without pride.

     Some people like to get people’s goats.  I don’t mess with anyone’s goat.  If there’s anything that always remains on the top of my wish list, it’s that nobody ‘gets my goat’ to come out.  My goat is so ugly that even I don’t like it!  My goat is so ruthless that it even scares me.  It’s ruthless because it’s very thorough in displaying itself and dispensing of problems.  So for someone who really wants to see it, it shall be done.  I am so thankful and grateful that my goat has not somehow ruined my existence.  Fortunately, intelligence and quick wittedness have usually always controlled my goat, and when that has failed, I have counted on heavenly intervention which has never let me down.

     I then ordered the unscrupulous worker off of my jobsite after he gave me an attitude when I asked his name…  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  See, some people get real confused with my pretty face, long hair, and jovial nature…  They think they’re dealing with a pushover or someone they can push over!  That’s not the case here.  I was born in the North, trained in the South, founded in the East, and reared in the West; any direction you want to take this we can definitely work it out.  I am the Alpha in my pride. 

     My words are my pulpit and my stories are my sermons, all I’m trying to do is preach.  I’m about to preach to this ‘lack of pride’.  You are a grown man.  You are hired to work.  The other grown men who were hired with you are working… You should be too.  Instead, you are malingering and eyeballing merchandise that is not yours.  You have placed stuff in your van that is NOT yours.  You need to get out of here and go find your pride.  You need to go back and ask your momma or your daddy for it because they’re the ones who forgot to give it to you!

     Now I’m not talking about an over abundance of pride because most know that is wrong and delves into the areas of conceit.  We’re talking about the kind of pride were your mother and father can say, “I’m proud of my son”, “I’m proud of my daughter”.  We’re talking about the kind of pride that makes you walk the walk to where your own kids can say, “That’s my dad”, and be proud to say it.  “That’s my mom”, and glad to say it.  I’m sad to say that this man wasn’t a member of my Pride.  He needed to get off my jobsite and go find his pride because he wasn’t a member of mine…

By

Anthonysjtoseph

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

My Secret Chambers



 


MY SECRET CHAMBERS

by

Anthonystjoseph


     Falling in love is a very dangerous sport…  I have no problems loving the world and things and people in the world; but loving one person is something that I always sought, but yet and still managed to avoid.  I have loved a few people in my life and by few I mean three.  The three people that I loved were very safe acts of love because the love was never returned…  It was safe…  In all my years I remained in a safe cubicle of existence while keeping my heart protected from ALL danger…  Then it happened…

     I managed to fall in love with someone who managed to love me back.  This was extremely dangerous as my chromosomes and DNA were sending extreme warning signs of, “You fool!” and “Aw damn, after all this time, this fool done gone and FELL OFF!”  I knew that my heart itself was even saying, “No, No, No, you know you have a murmur…”  There was an inner battle going on inside of me with the two sides being my desire to be loved and love, and my desire to protect myself from harm and a crushed heart. 

     When you love someone and they love you back you enter into parts of your heart and soul that are raw, pink, and unprotected.  You can literally be crushed and watch as a bystander while someone takes your heart and squeezes it like a rag while they smile and laugh with their friends…  These are the horrible images a broken heart produces…  A broken heart becomes the Benedict Arnold of your existence…  It laughs at you, it cries with you, it mocks you, it reminisces with you, it keeps beating for you, it becomes the warden of your thoughts and it’s all in retribution for letting someone into its secret place.  It treats you as the traitor because you let the culprit in…  Your heart tells you when you’re alone, “YOU DID THIS!”  You tell your heart when you’re alone, “YOU LET IT HAPPEN!"
 
     I’ve only let one person into the secret chambers of my heart.  That person stayed there and put up pictures and moved in with promises of staying…  My heart said, “Okay, but it’s on you rookie.”  I took the responsibility.  Then one day I went to the secret chambers of my heart and the pictures were gone and the walls were empty…  They had left my secret chambers and my heart was PISSED!  My heart actually turned on me and said, “Now I’m going to show you pain.”  I screamed at my heart through my tears of loss, “What are you talking about?  I’m the one alone.”  My heart screamed at the top of its lungs, “WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER!”

     I ran to the refrigerator and opened a can of Budweiser.  I didn’t stop opening those cans for two to three weeks…  I also used Benadryl to sleep because I felt I needed the assistance and aid to help shut my heart up because it had NEVER treated me this way before.  “Yap, yap, yap, you did it, YOU DID IT!”  We had always been so good together…  We never let each other out of the others sight…  We did everything together.  We were friends for life. 

     That had all changed…  Eventually I crawled up off the floor and got my heart to realize that we had to stay friends and that we HAD to stick together and the abuse that it was putting me through was serving neither one of us any good. 

     My heart is now at this present time in a slight self induced coma…  It is refusing to speak to me and has sent a message via intercom that it is leaving this decision to fate and myself.  You see, my heart was listening in on the phone call I just had…  The CULPRIT is BACK!  My heart knows that I’m powerless against the 'culprit'.  A spy that I instilled in my heart after the big 'blowout' we had has informed me that my heart is secretly pulling for the culprit to succeed in entering the secret chambers again because apparently my heart said, “That’s what it’s there for.”

By

Anthonystjoseph






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