CONVERTIBLE CLOWNS III: PAULA THE PRISON BIRD
by
Anthonystjoseph
Paula the Prison bird sat there in the
passenger seat of the Clown Car wondering where her life went wrong. Why had her life been reduced to chasing
after the elusive Anthony so called mother sucking stjoseph? When she first met Anthonystjoseph a few
decades ago she was sure they were going to be lifelong friends. But now the Dark Lord seemed to be completely
occupied with destroying her old friend Tony now going by his real name of Anthonystjoseph. Paula was in disbelief at her last meeting
with the Dark Lord and its final outcome.
Why had he chosen to punish her and not Toothless Tito, Theoda the Thug,
or Ridiculous Rodney? Ridiculous Rodney
was the stupid one always giggling and dribbling his yellow giggle juice.
The extremely eventful meeting with the
Dark Lord that had left Paula in her current condition was unbelievable. The almighty bringer of the darkness had
seemed to hold Paula the Prison bird entirely responsible for the failures of
capturing and killing Anthonystjoseph. Paula
had found herself trying to explain how some larger than life and almost
angelic cougar had chased them from the desert when the Dark Lord suddenly welled
up and silenced her with a wave of his goat like paw. He yelled in his diabolical growl,
“ENOUGH! That little thorn in my side
Anthonystjoseph has foiled you idiot clowns again so now you will LOOK LIKE THE
WORST CLOWN ON EARTH PAULA!” He kicked
his pet pit bull away from his throne and walked to stroke his mantle as he
sentenced Paula to spend the remainder of her life looking like the worst clown
possible. Paula could not even bare to
look at herself in the mirror. Theoda,
Tito, and Rodney only occasionally glanced at her as her new clown look was
horrendous. Paula’s once mahogany skin
tone had been turned into a pale white with what seemed to be a rotten plum for
a nose. Her beautiful teeth had been all
individually gapped and turned dark yellow while her eyes seemed to be made
from rotten dark cherries. Her now pale
white skin was only exaggerated by a palm tree plume of carrot colored hair. Her new mouth that continually smiled with
blackened gums took up a third of her face; the look was just all wrong! Ridiculous Rodney couldn’t help but giggle
now and then as Theoda and Tito dared not laugh because they knew Paula was not
the one to play with…
They drove down the deserted highway on
their new quest for Anthonystjoseph determined to finally get their prey and
not let what happened to Paula happen to the rest of them. They stopped at a gas station to get snacks
as all of them recommended Paula stay in the car. They asked Paula if she wanted anything as
she snapped back, “I CAN PICK OUT MY OWN SNACKS!” Theoda and Tito gave each other the side eye
as Ridiculous Rodney just laughed and giggled.
As they entered the gas station the cashier looked at Paula the Prison
Bird in her new found glory of the most menacing clown on earth and opened her
mouth to scream but nothing came out. The gas station cashier simply fainted and
fell to the floor. Theoda, the bravest
of the bunch, looked at Paula and said, “You know Paula, I’m just gonna put it
out there. That’s really not a good look on you.” Paula screamed, “YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW THAT!” Paula burst into tears with the menacing
larger than life smile remaining intact and ran back to the car while telling
Tito to just grab her a few pickled pig’s feet, her favorite snack.
As they were back in their clown car and
driving down the road, Paula started to eat her pickled pig’s feet and
Ridiculous Rodney burst into laughter at the sight. To see the new menacing clown face on Paula
chewing on pig’s feet was too much for Rodney.
Rodney screamed in his laughter, “Oh my GOD Paula! You’re like a bad horror movie chewing on
pig’s feet with that clown face and those TEETH!” Paula screamed, “DID YOU JUST SAY THE ‘G’
WORD! Keep on laughing at me bitch and I
will report you to the DARK LORD IMMEDIATELY for saying the ‘G’ word!” Rodney stops laughing at once and says, “I’m
just saying girl, that was a little extra. You might want to try some milk and
cookies at the next stop. Your new face
chewing on Pig’s feet with those deranged looking teeth is almost too much to
take!” Paula throws Rodney the most evil
glare as they continue on down the road while Tito and Theoda look at each
other in the rearview mirror in conspiratorial disbelief.
After a few hours of driving on the desert
road Paula states very directly, “Okay, the last time we saw that
Anthonystjoseph thing he was in this area coming up.” They slow the vehicle down as they all start
to scan for his presence.
By
Anthonystjoseph
All works copyrighted © and protected by law
No comments:
Post a Comment