ROCKY’S COMPETITION
by
Anthonystjoseph
Rocky’s
owner has fallen in love again and this time it’s a woman from his job who has
moved in with another ‘cat’.
“Oh goody
gumdrops, here we go again.”
“Just let it
rest Rocky”
“What do you
mean ‘let it rest’? Didn’t you learn
your lesson from that last ‘demon cat’ you
let up in this house? Or should I say,
didn’t WE learn our lesson?”
“This cat is
different Rocky. Kathy tells me he’s
sort of like you. He’s an old tom cat
that only worries about all of his ladies.”
“Oh dude,
don’t even go there. Nobody can compete
on the same ‘player’ level as Rocky. You
know what they say, ‘Rocky has all the ladies.
Spring, Summer, or Fall, Rocky has ‘em all.”
“Whatever
Rocky.”
“Whatever is
right! If it’s wearing a dog dress and comes to my dog park then Rocky is all
over it… Hey, hey, hey, hey!”
At this
point, Terrence, the new cat of the house that is all black with big beautiful
yellow green eyes comes into the living room and jumps up on the couch and then
lays down all casually like he owns the joint.
“And look at
that thang lounging on my couch like he’s the master of this kingdom when we
both know I rule this roost!”
Rocky’s
owner responds, “This is MY ‘roost’ Rocky.”
“Whatever
dude”
All of a
sudden Terrence the cat speaks up
“What’s up
Rock?”
“Did that
thang just speak to me?”
“Chill out
Rock, if we both get along we can have a good thing going here.”
“First off, TERRENCE! The name is ‘Rocky’; you don’t know me like
that. And secondly, get your ass off my
couch!”
“Whoa, whoa,
whoa, dude, chill out”
“Hey man,
I’m not your dude. The last time we had
one of your kind in here, it didn’t go so well.”
“Yeah,
everybody got a kick out of how Sabrina made you pee on yourself.”
“I don’t
know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah you do. I can still smell the dog pee in here. It was over in that corner there wasn’t
it? I believe that’s where Sabrina and
her eyes had your knees wobbling and your pee dripping; at least that’s the
story going around in the alleys these days?”
“Oh Lordy, hold
me back! Somebody hold me back! I see it’s getting to be time for some poodle
soup with a little cat meat thrown in.”
“Yeah right
Rock!”
“My name is
ROCKY!”
“Hey
brother, you need to calm down. This is
going to go real smooth if you relax.
You can call me just like the ladies call me, ‘The Love Doctor’”
“Oh my
precious Lord. Did this clown just tell
me to call him ‘The Love Doctor’?”
“’Precious
Lord’, oh yeah, I heard that meeting Sabrina had converted you to Christianity”
“I don’t
know what you’re talking about. This has
always been a Christian household.”
“HA! Yeah right.
Like when that poodle mysteriously disappeared on that boat you were on.”
“Again, I
don’t know what you’re talking about.
Listen ‘Terrence’, your mouth
is writing checks your ass can’t cash. I
suggest you recognize ‘The Rock’ as the
head of this household. Ol’ Brad here
barely gets to make any decisions himself and he pays all the bills!”
“Hey Rock”
“I said, it’s
ROCKY!”
“Whatever
Rock, ‘The Love Doctor’ needs to get
his rest. I got more than one lady to
take care of tonight in alley six, AND alley three. I’m just going to lay back here and close my
eyes and catch me some zees”
“Yeah you do
that ‘Terrence’. Go ahead, close your
eyes.”
“Chill out
Rock”
“Hey Brad,
I’m thinking that cat has got two days man, TWO DAYS.”
“Let it rest
Rocky”
“Let it rest
my ass! ‘The Love Doctor’, are you
serious, you have got to be kidding me.
Not in my house.”
At this
point, Terrence ‘The Love Doctor’ starts snoring. The snoring enrages Rocky and all of a sudden ROCKY POUNCES! It’s all over. Rocky’s owner freaks out!
“ROCKY!”
“Um huh, I
told that fool to stop calling me ‘Rock’, like he know me. He knows me now! Knows my insides; you got a toothpick?”
“ROCKY! What have you done?”
“That was
some good ol’ ‘Love Doctor’ soup. No really, you got a toothpick?”
Brad freaks
out and grabs his head almost pulling his hair out and then yells to his
girlfriend in the kitchen.
“Kathy! I think your cat got out… I left the door open honey.”
“He got OUT
alright, got OUT OF LINE!”
“Shut up
Rocky!”
“I think
I’ll catch me some ‘zees’ on my
available couch.”
“You’re
going to pay for this Rocky.”
“You love
me.”
By
Anthonystjoseph
All works copyrighted 
and protected by law
and protected by law
Terrance is too much for Rocky to take!
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