CONVERTIBLE CLOWNS XVIII:
CHARLIE THE CHUMP
by
Anthonystjoseph
Charlie the Chump was the most treacherous
of all the clowns of the underworld. He
was hideous to look at and loved every minute of his hideousness. There was something very seriously wrong with
Charlie the Chump from the moment of his human conception. As a human he spent his days and sleepless
nights digging in his nose for what he considered, food. He was a deranged sort as most of the clowns
were but his mental distortion was on a whole different level than most of the
clowns in the underworld. Charlie the
Chump hated the world and more importantly, he hated himself. As a human his life was a lie and his lie was
a life. He never told the truth from the
moment he learned what the truth was.
And the truth was, that he didn’t like the truth.
When his dismal life of a lie passed away
from a cancer that ate his body away, he finally met the Dark Lord who had
occasionally cajoled his soul on some of his sleepless nights. Charlie the Chump was gracious in meeting the
ultimate demon who had made him feel comfortable in his self-professed
grossness on those lonely nights. He was
more than happy to ask the Dark Lord to make him one of the most hideous clowns
of all time because he wanted the world to shriek in horror when they saw him
and basked in the coming transformation.
The Dark Lord relished the opportunity to make one of his most hideous
creations and smiled and then waved his paw over Charlie the Chump creating a
masterpiece of the underworld.
Although it was known for some of the
demons of the underworld to appreciate their transformations given to them by
the Dark Lord, it was rare that a clown was pleased. Charlie the Chump was overwhelmingly
pleased. He loved the fact that his skin
looked like the skin of a hundred year old white elephant and was thankful for
the receding hairline and the scraggly long hair that started mid scalp. His hallowed out cheek bones added to his
hideousness whenever he opened his mouth.
The blackened gums and yellowed teeth impressed him but nothing
impressed him more than the eye sockets with no eyeballs. He relished the fear he would create in
humans when they saw him. But most of
all, he loved his continuously running nose because now he had a constant
source of food. Charlie the Chump was
disgusting and totally belonged and felt at home in the underworld. He was so relieved to be free from his
earthly existence.
Charlie the Chump wasn’t a man of
importance on earth so to speak, but he did hold a job in one of our moments in
history that in his eyes was scrumptious.
Charlie the Chump was the head jailer in the dungeons of one of the
cruelest men in history. Charlie loved
working in the dungeons below the castle because it gave him numerous and
countless opportunities to torture and then desecrate the remains of what in
his eyes were, worthless humans. Charlie
would slither into an inmate’s jail cell while the inmate was chained to the
wall and he would stick dull pointed wooden stakes into their abdomens and
laugh with glee as they cried in horrendous pain. He would come back hours later after their
deaths and pull out their intestines and then writhe on the floor intertwining
himself with the remains. Yes, Charlie
the Chump was as equally disgusting as a human as he was a clown. Charlie would occasionally see his old
employer from Earth in the underworld and would still bow and thank him for the
earthly position as Head Jailer. Charlie
the Chump wondered how many people in the underworld knew that the demon he
bowed to who was his old employer was Vlad Dracula, also known as Vlad the
Impaler.
Charlie the Chump was extremely happy to
be chosen to go on this new mission for the Dark Lord. He secretly wondered if he would have an
opportunity to wallow around on the ground in this young child Andrew’s
entrails. Oh how he basked in the
thought of slithering around again in freshly killed intestinal fluid. Just the thought of it made him start digging
in his nose for fresh food. Yes, Charlie
the Chump was as disgusting as a soul could get.
By
Anthonystjoseph
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