CONVERTIBLE CLOWNS XII:
THE ASSASSINATION OF ANTHONYSTJOSEPH
by
Anthonystjoseph
The angelic cougar carrying
Anthonystjoseph landed near the cave in the desert and once again they had a
conversation. The cougar explained that
all that will happen has not been written.
The course of history is set but the path the river takes to that
history is not. Apparently it was not
time for Anthonystjoseph to be with his soulmate and it was also clear that
there was another earthly challenge for Anthonystjoseph and this Rojalinda
demon from the underworld. I explained
to the cougar, “You saw that demon with that huge sword and that half skeleton
face. How can I deal with something like
that?” The cougar responds, “First off,
never fear anything. You’ve already
learned that lesson. Maybe this lesson is
for her to learn and maybe she will defeat you but the outcome on your end will
not change anything. You will either
defeat her or you will join us in Heaven.
Both outcomes are acceptable as you well know.” I begrudgingly explain, “Well you know,
personally, I’d rather not meet my end by a demonic sword through the heart but
that’s just my personal opinion… You know.”
The cougar doesn’t deign to laugh or smile
at my humor and says, “Always the funny man.
Anyway Anthonystjoseph, I must go, but remember, be strong.” The cougar leaves the cave as I try not to gather
a rock and throw it at him in his ‘be strong’ nonsense. I would rather they just handle some of this
mess and let me be me! I saw how the
demon Rojalinda was afraid of the angelic cougar. Why didn’t he just take care of her and rid
the world of that half skeletal thing.
Why don’t these people leave me out of their war? I gather myself and my so called strength and
decide to leave the cave and return to the cabin. As I sneak up on the cabin trying to hide
behind the bushes, I see that the area is clear and there is no signs of
anything like a demon that is glowing sky blue so I go inside the cabin and
make myself some lunch.
I finish my lunch and take a long and much
needed nap after the last few days horrific events and wake up just as the Sun
is setting. I start a fire in the
fireplace and contemplate my life and the revelatory presence and then loss of
my soulmate. I venture out onto the
porch and then I see her. The sky blue
demon who calls herself Rojalinda is floating above the lake in the moonlight
watching me with her snake eyes emitting something close to a smile. We stare at each other intently with both of
our souls seeming to talk to each other knowing this meeting would always
happen. She glides over the water of the
lake and then lands on the ground in front of the cabin. I stare at her. She stares at me. She walks slowly towards me as I stand my
ground figuring it is useless to run.
When she gets close enough I try and pull
the same move as I pulled on The Dark Lord figuring it would most likely
work. I go to grab her by encircling my
arms around her and saying The Lord’s Prayer but she is too quick for me, she’s
heard of my one move against evil. All
of a sudden as I try to grab her she pulls her blue luminescent steel sword
from under her cape in one swift move and then I feel it before I see it. She has plunged the sword through my chest
cavity with the ease of the wind and it has directly pierced my heart. I look down at the sword and then back into
her face and directly into her eyes as she leans her face into mine and her
snake eyes smile. I am suddenly above my
body looking down on the scene of her, Rojalinda, with the sword still pierced
through my chest. The demon Rojalinda
looks up into the sky and seems to be looking directly at me and then smiles
with her eyes one more time when she makes a move faster than anything I have
ever seen before. All of a sudden she
withdraws the sword in one swift move and before my lifeless body can fall to
the ground she does a three hundred and sixty degree spin and decapitates me in
one second while my lifeless body was still standing of its own accord with not
enough time in her move for gravity to make it drop. She catches my head by its hair before my
head falls and looks at my soul in the sky and opens her skeletal jaw and
laughs out loud in her demonic way which is very similar to the laugh of the
Dark Lord himself.
Surprisingly, I feel nothing in regards to
sadness in her decapitating my soulless physical body because I know that it is
not me. I am above her and free and
unable to be harmed at this point. I
watch with pity for her squandered soul and the life of pain and sadness that
have led her to the being she is and has become, I feel sorry for her. As a now spiritual entity I feel the pain of
her life that makes her what she is and I actually wish she had been stronger
to avoid becoming what she has become. I
turn my back on her in her laughter at believing she is a success in my
assassination. I leave her to her world. She left my headless body in the desert to be
ravaged by the desert animals as it slowly decayed.
Rojalinda returns to the underworld and
all of the underworld have heard of her success in assassinating
Anthonystjoseph. She walks into the
chamber of the throne room and the crowd of clowns and demons part as she walks
through the crowd carrying the head of the Dark Lord’s prey, Anthonystjoseph. The Dark Lord sits in his chair on his throne
with his demonic smile as Rojalinda rolls Anthonystjoseph’s head to the bottom
of his throne and it lands at his feet.
The Dark Lord lets out a trembling laugh as all the clowns and demons
start to laugh with him. Ridiculous
Rodney suddenly shouts, “Ring a ding ding. No more righteous thing. Anthonystjoseph is DEAD!” The whole crowd of clowns and demons join in
and they all start to sing, “Ring a ding ding.
No more righteous thing.
Anthonystjoseph is DEAD!” They
spend their time celebrating the Dark Lord’s victory and the fact that the Dark
Lord is pleased and everyone feels safer not fearing his wrath as much as they
have recently been fearing it. Paula the
Prison bird and Ridiculous Rodney who felt it and suffered the most with their
new clown looks from hell are the most relieved.
As I had turned from the sight of
Rojalinda standing over my lifeless body in the desert while holding my head by
the hair with her hand I saw it… There
it was right before my eyes.
Anthonystjoseph
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