I Am An Angry Man

 

I AM AN ANGRY MAN

by

Anthonystjoseph

     I am an angry man.  You may ask, why am I angry?  I will tell you why.  I really didn’t speak much as a child.  You see, I had memories.  Something was different.  The life I was watching and the behavior I was seeing was different.  Something was off.  My world had become different and I had to observe to try and understand what happened.  What had brought about this change? 

     I had never been told a lie before in my knowledge.  The first lie I was told was remarkable to me.  I was not aware that someone would say something to you that wasn’t true; why would someone do such a thing.  I was dumbfounded.  I learned and witnessed that people will lie.  It was new to my soul.

     I had never seen someone strike someone before.  I witnessed someone hitting someone and it was new to me.  I was attacked and then one day I attacked.  I struck someone in the face and it felt like I had rocked and struck my own soul.  I can still remember the moment that I struck the other boy in the face and the mutual impact that occurred because indeed, my soul felt it and it jolted me to the core.  I have never struck anyone since.  That’s a lie, you see, I’ve learned; I was attacked by a bunch of individuals once and I did strike, it was self-defense and I won…  I am learning your rules and I don’t like it. 

     I have studied mankind’s history and it is clear that mostly, man is an ugly creature…  Our end results seem to produce pleasant fruits and it seems that we can make it.  The problem is that the good fruit of mankind is like the fruit of a vine or the apple on the tree.  The fruit of mankind represents about one to five percent like the fruit of the tree only represents one to five percent of the tree.  Mankind needs to improve its goodness and luckily unlike the tree, we can choose to be fruit. 

     It seems the longer I live the more I hurt.  The compassion in me seems to overflow and almost overwhelms me sometimes.  My brother says God told him I was the King of Passion.  It amazed me when my estranged and mostly unknown half-brother told me this because at that point he had not witnessed my growing passion and anger at the atrocities of mankind that I was developing an extreme distaste for.  I was becoming more and more angry at mankind as a whole.

     Two college aged kids I had known in the early Nineties at social functions in Denver, Colorado randomly called me The Angry Man one day and it struck me as odd.  You see, my anger had snuck up on me.  It is true that at that point in time I was trying to develop a small newsletter to help fight police brutality and was constantly preaching against it and other things but I was completely unaware that my outward disposition was coming off as angry.  I just had a desperate need to make the world a better place.

     There may be something wrong with me that causes an overabundance of empathy that makes me sympathize with unfairness and inequality and I have come to understand that it is a symptom of many.  Martin Luther, Malcolm, John F. Kennedy, Cesar Chavez, Susan B. Anthony, and Jesus himself suffered from an overwhelming desire to make the world a better place and I guess I should be glad that whoever creates humans decided to put a small portion of their genetic makeup in myself.  I only hope that my words can contribute at least one percent of one percent of what these men and women have done.  I long to make the world better; I know that in some people that I have met I have made their world better.

     In the dictionary it says that passion is anger so I guess I can be called passionate about a lot of things.  Because I am passionately angry about the acts that man commits against other men.  There are men to this day who enslave other men and especially enslave women; my soul screams as a witness and says, ‘How can they do this?’  When I learned of acts such as England leasing China to CHINA I asked myself, what in the hell!  I sometimes tell myself that I am clearly not one of you because I don’t understand.  Yes, I am a passionate man when it comes to this stuff.  Yes, I am an angry man.

     Something is changing in me for I am becoming more and more passionate as each day goes on.  I am now becoming a person who is so passionate that when I witness the fruits of mankind such as someone sacrificing themselves for the greater good I become emotional.  When I see an underdog of a human being achieve the impossible I well up with tears that come from the depth of my being because I feel there is hope in our tree and its fruit.  I feel there is a chance for the tree of mankind itself to continue to bare the fruit of wellbeing.  I feel there is hope for you; I feel there is hope for us.  Yes, I am a passionate man when it comes to this stuff.  Yes, I am an angry man.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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