Rocky Announces An Ugly Turn

ROCKY ANNOUNCES AN UGLY TURN

by

Anthonystjoseph

 

“Hey man! I’m glad you’re home. We have got to talk.”

“What now Rocky?  I’ve had a long day at work and all I want is a beer and none of your shenanigans.”

“Hey man, this is serious…  We need to talk, and we need to do it right now and privately, away from this new ‘Lovely’ character you’ve brought into my home.”

“Okay Rocky, let me get a beer.  Make it quick because Linda is going to be getting home soon.”

They go into the other room and shut the door away from ‘Lovely’.

“Let’s hear it Rocky, what now?”

“Now you know I consider myself one of the ‘politically correct’ crowd and all.”

“Whatever Rocky.”

“Anyway man, as I was saying, you know Rocky is down with most everything but uh, but uh, ruh, this ‘Lovely’ thing has taken an ugly turn.”

“What now Rocky?  Did he steal one of your girlfriends?”

“Not hardly.  And I don’t think that’s going to be a problem with mister ‘Lovely’”

“What is it Rocky?”

“Well I, well I, well I…

“Spit it out ROCKY!”

“Well I was in the back yard minding my biz and taking a whiz, and I think I caught Mister ‘Lovely’ taking a peek at the family jewels if you know what I’m saying.”

“WHAT!  Are you kidding me?”

“NO! I am not kidding!  Rocky’s down with a lot of things, but Rocky don’t roll that way.  ROCKY, DOES NOT, ROLL, THAT WAY!”

“I thought all you dogs licked each other all over the place anyway.”

“Be careful poodle, be careful.  I told you, Rocky don’t roll that way.  Rocky don’t roll like that.”

“So what’s the problem Rocky?”

“Well it’s got me to thinking that this may damage my reputation at the dog park with the ladies.  There’s already starting to be some talk.”

(Sighs) “What talk Rocky?”

‘Well, the other dogs at the dog park are starting to notice that ‘Lovely’ only hangs out with that big Standard Poodle with the pink hair and the big yellow bow on his head that lives with those two ‘single’ guys who live in the loft on the corner, you know the two, ‘Brad’ and ‘Chet’.”

“And?”

“Come on man, does this have to be a paint by numbers? Lovely is playing for the other team.  This is going to hurt a brothers’ image with the ladies.  You know I like my trim.  And yesterday when ‘Lovely’ and I went into the back yard, that dog Red, my arch enemy next door said, “Hey ladies”.  Rocky is not happy.  ROCKY, is NOT happy!”

“I’m done with this conversation Rocky.  I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Hey man, I figured out a plan.  Don’t worry, don’t worry, with this plan you can keep your big hipped girlfriend and her dog ‘Lovely’ around, you just have to act fast.”

“What Rocky; what, what, WHAT?”

“Watch your tone poodle.  Watch your tone.”

“Keep it up Rocky.  Keep it up.”

“You love me.  Anyway, I’m thinking if you put a partition in the backyard for a brother to take a private whiz when he has too, then all the other dogs can see the partition when they’re walking by and Rocky’s reputation is safe.”

“A PARTITION!  Really Rocky! In the backyard.”

“Yes, a partition, brother.”

“Give it a rest Rocky.  Your jewels aren’t that special anyway, I’ve seen ‘em.”

He opens the door and exits the room. Rocky yells after him.

“You’ve got two days man, TWO DAYS!  Rocky’s not feeling the love.  Rocky’s not feeling the LOVE!”

At this point ‘Lovely’ comes in the room.

“Did someone call me?”

“Aaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

By

Anthonystjoseph

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