Heart de Stone Part VI

 

HEART de STONE PART VI

by

Anthonystjoseph

     This dream was short because I’m getting tired of it all.  I’m told the old tree is about to fall.  All trees must pass; it’s the law of the land and the land of all life.  Her life as a tree resulted in me.

     There we were in a corn field aplenty, a corn field of clutter meaning there was much too many.  The leaves of the corn were different than most, these leaves were the color of a purple ghost.  We marched through the corn trying to make our way.  A friend of hers followed us pleading her case, I still had the mind set of, ‘get out of my face’.  The corn leaves of purple, the color of passion; were growing intense and slowing my action.  I cut through the corn while ignoring said pleas.  I couldn’t stop looking for a way out the leaves.  I cut through one last bunch and an opening occurred.  I left her and her friend without another word.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Rocky's N.D.E. (Near Death Experience)

 

ROCKY’S N.D.E.

(Near Death Experience)

by

Anthonystjoseph

Although Rocky seems happy to be alive there is something definitely different about him since his fight with Sabrina and his brush with death. 

“Rocky, are you okay?  I mean something seems different about you since I brought you home from the vet’s office.”

“I’m fine Brad.  Rocky just looks at life a little different now days.”

“What’s so different Rocky?  You’re alive; I mean, you walked by that hairless poodle at the dog park the other day and didn’t even make a move for it.  I don’t understand what’s going on with you.  What is going on Rocky?”

“Okay Brad, you have to promise me you won’t tell a soul what I’m about to tell you.  Rocky will lose all his street cred if you do.”

“You know I won’t tell Rocky.  What is it?”

“Well, after the fight with Sabrina; you know Rocky’s heart stopped beating, right?”

“Yeah Rocky, I know that.”

“Well Rocky saw a bright light.  And then there was this tunnel.”

“Oh Lord!”

“Shut up Brad!  I’m trying to tell you what happened.  I didn’t go into the light or the tunnel at first because I saw you balling your eyes out begging for me to live!  That’s how I knew what was happening!  Rocky was crossing over to the other side.”

“I wasn’t balling!”

“Oh please dude!  You were balling like a crack baby with no CRACK!  Shut up and let me tell you what happened.”

“Okay Rocky, I was crying.”

“Because you love me!  Anyway, I was hovering above in the sky and I saw you running and carrying me into the vet’s office.  That’s when I saw my grandmother in the light telling me to come to her and she had something to tell me.”

“Your grandmother.”

“YES, my grandmother STUPID!  She died a while back when she got hit by that ice cream truck.”

“How do you know she got hit by an ice cream truck?”

“Because she told me BRAD!  Do you want to hear this story or what?”

“Okay, I’m sorry, go ahead Rocky.”

“So anyway, I go into the tunnel and there are a bunch of other Rottweiler dogs there and they all are saying they love me and then there’s this big standard poodle there just glaring at me.  He was even bigger than Rocky!”

“A Standard Poodle?  Aren’t they the big poodles that are as big as German Shepherds?”

“You got it Einstein.  So the big poodle is staring at me and so I asked him, ‘What’s up dude? You want some of Rocky?  Because we can do this right here, right now?’”

“You started a fight in Heaven ROCKY!?!”

“You know how Rocky rolls, the brother was staring me down!  So anyway, he just glared some more and then my grandmother jumps on me.  ‘ROCKY’, she says, ‘you are not ready to come here.  This poodle here is your great-great-great-great-grandfather Jedidiah.  He is ashamed of your behavior on earth to his fellow poodles.’”

Brad starts laughing and then his laughter becomes uncontrollable.

“You mean the big proud Rocky has poodle blood in him, and after all your feelings about poodles!”

Rocky just looks at Brad with a straight face as Brad starts to laugh harder and harder and then crumples over onto the couch holding his stomach from the pain of the laughter and then tears start to come out of Brad’s eyes he’s laughing so hard.

“So this is really funny to you, huh Brad?”

Brad cannot answer from laughing so hard so he just nods his head yeah through the laughter.

“Listen CLOWN!  Two things; one, you will never tell ANYONE about this and two, you keep on laughing I’m going to forget my godly promises and have some poodle soup with BRAD MEAT!  Forgive me Jedidiah.”

Brad tries his best to stop laughing but can’t.  He just barely calms it down a little to speak.

“I’m sorry Rocky, but I just know how you feel about poodles and this is FUNNY beyond words!”

“Funny to you!”

“Oh Rocky, that was too much.  So then what happened?”

“Well they all said that I had disgraced the family with my treatment towards poodles and a certain jogger named Ham Bone that I refused to acknowledge.  They told me it did no good to lie in my situation.”

“Duh.”

“Keep on Brad.  Just keep on.”

“So then what happened?”

“Well, they said that I was coming back down here because a certain ‘cry baby’ and his ‘prayers’.”

“Whatever Rocky!”

“A certain ‘cry baby’ and his ‘prayers’ proved that I was loved and a good person but I better improve my poodle eating ways or I was not going to be seeing them the next time I crossed over.  They said where I was going would not require any Winter coats whatsoever if you get my drift.”

“REALLY!?!”

“Really.  They threatened me with the big heated underground.  That jogger Ham Bone was screaming something about ‘send him there now’.  The Standard Poodle Jedidiah said that I deserved another chance as he himself had tasted a lot of Dachshund soup in his days and he managed to change his ways.  So Rocky was sent back and told to mend his ways.”

“Wow Rocky, that is an incredible story.”

“You’re telling me…  I mean, I knew you loved me, but all that crying!  What a wuss!”

“Whatever Rocky!”

“You love me.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

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The Big FIght! Rocky vs. Sabrina

 

THE BIG FIGHT!  ROCKY vs. SABRINA

by

Anthonystjoseph

Rocky and his owner, Brad, are walking home from the dog park on a bright sunny day.

“Did you see the new house ‘address’ Rocky got today at the dog park Brad.”

“Yes Rocky, I saw you talking to the new lady dog.”

“DOG!  Dude, you must be blind!  That was a pure bred lady Rottweiler you saw me talking to there!  She’s heard all about the champ Rocky and she want’s nothing but champion Rocky babies!  Oh yeah!  The real ‘Love Doctor’ rears his ‘lovely’ head; hahahaha…”

At this point Rocky is so caught up on his own reputation and exploits at the dog park that he doesn’t see Sabrina following them on the other side of the street.

Brad see’s Sabrina before Rocky and tries to hurry them home to keep Rocky and him safe and in a good mood.

All of a sudden, Rocky stops because he smells a familiar and unfriendly smell.  Brad tries to yank the leash and Rocky is unmovable.

Rocky growls. “I smell HER!”

“Let’s just hurry home Rocky, I don’t like that cat.”

“Rocky is tired of this cat!  Demon or no demon, she’s going down today.  I can’t have my champion Rottweiler babies hearing about Rocky running from a CAT!”

“PLEASE Rocky!  Let’s just go!”

“NO!”

Rocky turns to search for the direction of the feline and nasty smell he’s smelling and then he spots her.  Sabrina and Rocky stare each other down like ‘Clint Eastwood’ and the ‘…Bad…’ from ‘The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly’.

Rocky growls.  Sabrina hunches.  They walk slowly towards each other down the center of the street.  They both stop at the same time about a hundred feet from each other and Brad swears he hears music from a familiar old western in his head.

For what seems like an incredibly long time they just stare each other down and neither Rocky nor Sabrina move.

Rocky growls from his gut; Sabrina growls from hers.

All of a sudden, as if some unknown starter pistol goes off, they both run and lunge at each other and end up in a cloud of dust created by the dirt in the street and the rapid and quick movements of each.  Brad can’t see who’s getting the best of the other because of all the dust.

Menacing cat sounds are heard and then some growls and snaps that are clearly from Rocky.  Then there is a big scream from Sabrina and then more dust!  A terrifying yelp is heard from Rocky and Brad is scared. 

Another terrifying yelp from Rocky and the movement stops and the dust is still too much for anything to be seen.

The dust finally settles and Sabrina is limping away missing one of her ears and dragging a broken leg that is torn from her body and hanging on by a tendon.

Rocky is laying in the middle of the settled dust cloud showing no signs of any movement and seeming to be lifeless.

Brad is terrified of losing Rocky and runs as fast as he can to Rocky.  Rocky has several scratches all over his body that look like they came from a lion and blood is oozing out of a wound on his neck.

“Oh Rocky!  Please don’t die Rocky!  Just hang in there Rocky!  I’ll get you to the vet right away!  HANG IN THERE!”

Brad scoops Rocky’s lifeless body up into his arms and runs home and places Rocky’s body in the back seat of his car.  Brad starts praying while driving as fast as he can to the vet and Rocky still shows no signs of life.

“Oh Lord!  Please don’t let anything happen to my Rocky!  He’s my only friend Lord…  I’ll do anything Lord!  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, LORD!”

Brad pulls into the vet’s parking lot and barely gets his car’s gears into the park position not caring at all that he’s not even in a parking space.  He scoops Rocky’s body out of the backseat and runs with him in his arms into the vet’s office.

“PLEASE!  SOMEBODY HELP!  Get the doctor, something’s wrong with ROCKY!”

All the vet’s assistants and the office staff love Rocky so they all stop what they are doing and come get Rocky from Brad.

They tell Brad to wait in the reception area and then rush Rocky into the emergency room while determining that ROCKY has no heartbeat whatsoever.

The television in the waiting room is on The Western Channel and ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly’ is on.  The music in a gun duel is playing before a gunfight and Brad screams, “SOMEBODY TURN THAT TELEVISION OFF!”

“Oh lord please don’t let Rocky die!”

After what seems like hours, the vet comes in with his dead down and a solemn look on his face and looks at Brad in the waiting area.

Brad pushes past the doctor and runs into the emergency room and sees Rocky laying limp with two of the assistants rubbing Rocky’s limp body and crying.

Brad pushes them away from Rocky and grabs Rocky and starts to shake him.

“ROCKY PLEASE!  PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME ROCKY!”

The vet puts his hand on Brad’s shoulder and says there was nothing he could do and Brad starts to sob uncontrollably while hugging Rocky.

“ROCKY PLEASE! I’ll let you do anything you want from now on! ANYTHING!  You can eat any poodle you want to ROCKY!  Any POODLE!”

At Brad’s loud mention of the word poodle Rocky coughs and expels a huge hair ball.

“ROCKY!!!”

The vet pushes Brad away and starts to tend to Rocky.

“He’s alive doctor!  HE’S ALIVE!”

“Did somebody call me a poodle?”

“Oh Rocky!  I’m so happy.”

“You love me.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

All works copyrighted  and protected by law

Rocky vs. Sabrina's Hitman

 

ROCKY vs. SABRINA’S HITMAN

by

Anthonystjoseph

Rocky and his owner Brad are walking home from Rocky’s favorite stomping ground, the dog park, and Rocky is acting a little nervous.

“Hey Brad, that cat over there has been following me home from the dog park for a couple of days now.”

“What cat?”

“THAT CAT OVER THERE ACROSS THE STREET DUDE!  Come on, I can’t be all the brains in this operation.  No wonder I run this show.”

“Oh, I see him.  He looks huge!”

“I know; looks a little mentally unhealthy too.  I don’t know what his problem is but Rocky can settle it for him.”

At this point, the cat that’s been following Rocky, crosses the street in a threatening manner and Rocky stops.

“Is this mangy looking cat wanting a piece of Rocky?”

Rocky growls menacingly.

“Hey Rocky, I’ve had a long day at work and I just want to go home and have a beer.”

Rocky growls some more at the cat that’s in the middle of the street approaching them.

“What’s your problem cat?”

“I’m here on Sabrina’s orders.  I’m not like Sabrina, Holy Water doesn’t work on me.”

“Who says I need Holy Water!?!”

“Oh please, every tom cat in the neighborhood saw you and your little man over there run into the church peeing on yourselves begging for holy water to try and ward off Sabrina.  You little woman!”

“What in the…  I don’t know what your problem is cat, but Rocky can settle it for you.”

Rocky’s owner takes a tighter hold on Rocky’s leash.

“LET ME GO BRAD!  LET ME GO!”

Rocky growls and tries to get loose while the cat starts hunching for an attack.

“I can smell you peeing on yourself from here Rocky. The whole alley is waiting to eat some Rocky soup!  Get ready poodle.”

“Did this cat just call me a POODLE?”

Rocky gets loose from his leash and lunges at the cat and the cat jumps in a nearby tree.

“You’re going to have to be faster than that poodle.”

“Keep calling me poodle!  We’re going to see who the poodle is here you mangy alley cat castoff!”

At this point Rocky’s owner is just tired of all of it and wants to go home.

“Rocky, let’s just leave that cat alone and go home.”

“Naw dude, you heard this thang call me a poodle and NOBODY calls Rocky a POODLE!”

“POODLE!  Poodle, poodle, POODLE!!!”

Rocky growls and barks his most viscous bark while showing his most dangerous poodle eating teeth.

The cat hunches and then lunges for Rocky’s back.  Rocky dodges the cat’s lunge and the cat jumps on top of a fence.

“So tell me MANGY, did Sabrina send a hit man or an acrobat.”

The cat lunges and Rocky catches it midair and then Rocky holds on tight to it while he twists and clamps and clamps and twist.  The ‘hit man’ cat Sabrina sent goes limp in Rocky’s jaw.

“Great Rocky! Just GREAT!  Now Sabrina is definitely coming back again for BOTH of us!”

“What did you want me to do?  Let the thing take me out or something.”

“Let’s go Rocky.  I’m getting so tired of your shenanigans.”

“As usual Brad, uh, uh, uh, I’m going to need you to get rid of the evidence.  I’m not eating that mangy thang.”

“Whatever Rocky.”

“You love me.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

All works copyrighted  and protected by law

Rocky's Nightmare: Sabrina Returns

 

ROCKY’S NIGHTMARE:  SABRINA RETURNS

by

Anthonystjoseph

Rocky’s owner comes home from a long day at work and all the curtains are drawn and no lights are on in the house.

“Dude! Get in here and shut the door!  HURRY!  SHUT THE DOOR!”

“What’s going on Rocky?  What have you done NOW?”

“I haven’t done ANYTHING!  You know my story!”

Rocky goes to peek out a window and seems to be extremely agitated and frightened which is unusual for Rocky.

“Then why are you hiding in the house and peeking out the curtains?”

“It’s that thing man!  That Demon!  It’s back and it’s looking for me!”

“What demon?”

“DON’T ACT STUPID DUDE!  YOU know what DEMON I’m talking about!  Red was at the dog park today and apparently SABRINA the DEMON cat came strolling around the outside of the dog park scaring all the dogs and telling them to tell ROCKY she’s coming for him!”

“But I broke up with her owner Serena”

Rocky jumps up on the couch and peeks out the curtains again.

“Oh man, this is not good. This is not good.  Our Father, who art in Heaven…”

“Rocky, why would Sabrina want to come back and bother you?”

“Hey man, apparently, Sabrina was ‘Terrence’ the ‘Love Doctor’s’ main squeeze.  Sabrina told Red she heard through the alley cat grapevine that I did away with ‘Terrence’.  She’s vowed revenge!”

Rocky peeks out the window again.

“Did you get that message I left for you at work to bring home some holy water?”

“No ROCKY!  I didn’t get that message.  And besides, we’re Christians, not Catholics.”

“Well I think we’re going to need to become Catholic TOO!  I think we need some holy water for that demon cat Sabrina.”

“It doesn’t work that way Rocky, you can’t be both”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW!?!  You don’t know any more about it than I do!”

“I know Rocky, I know.”

Rocky peeks out the window again and thinks he sees something.

“DUDE!  I think I see HER!”

Rocky’s owner runs to the window, he himself being a little fearful of Sabrina.

“Where?”

“Over there, by the tree.”

They both stare intensely at the tree looking for any sign of movement.  Meanwhile, Sabrina casually walks in through the doggy door in the kitchen.

“Hello boys.”

“AAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Rocky and his owner both jump straight through the plate glass window and head as fast as they can for the car.

“START THE CAR MAN!  START THE CAR!”

“I’M STARTING IT ROCKY!  I’M STARTING IT!”

“AND head for a church!  A CATHOLIC CHURCH!  We need HOLY WATER!”

Rocky starts praying

“Lord please let the church be open, please let the church be open.”

“You better HOPE its open.  If you would just stop eating every poodle and cat in sight then we wouldn’t be in this predicament,”

“Lord, I promise not to eat another living thing if you just KILL that Sabrina Lord.”

“Oh that’ll work Rocky, that’ll work!  Asking God to kill somebody.”

“SHUT UP DUDE!  The Lord works in mysterious ways!”

“The Lord don’t kill nobody ROCKY!”

“How do YOU know!?!”

Rocky and his owner make it to the Catholic Church and race inside all cut up from the plate glass window and panting from being scared and out of breath.  A priest walks up to them looking them over and Brad speaks up.

“Excuse me sir, but we were wondering if you could give us some Holy Water?”

The priest looks them both over and realizes he’s seen this before and then speaks.

“Don’t tell me, you’ve met Sabrina.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Rocky's Competition

 

ROCKY’S COMPETITION

by

Anthonystjoseph

Rocky’s owner has fallen in love again and this time it’s a woman from his job who has moved in with another ‘cat’.

“Oh goody gumdrops, here we go again.”

“Just let it rest Rocky”

“What do you mean ‘let it rest’?  Didn’t you learn your lesson from that last ‘demon cat’ you let up in this house?  Or should I say, didn’t WE learn our lesson?”

“This cat is different Rocky.  Kathy tells me he’s sort of like you.  He’s an old tom cat that only worries about all of his ladies.”

“Oh dude, don’t even go there.  Nobody can compete on the same ‘player’ level as Rocky.  You know what they say, ‘Rocky has all the ladies.  Spring, Summer, or Fall, Rocky has ‘em all.”

“Whatever Rocky.”

“Whatever is right! If it’s wearing a dog dress and comes to my dog park then Rocky is all over it…  Hey, hey, hey, hey!”

At this point, Terrence, the new cat of the house that is all black with big beautiful yellow green eyes comes into the living room and jumps up on the couch and then lays down all casually like he owns the joint.

“And look at that thang lounging on my couch like he’s the master of this kingdom when we both know I rule this roost!”

Rocky’s owner responds, “This is MY ‘roost’ Rocky.”

“Whatever dude”

All of a sudden Terrence the cat speaks up

“What’s up Rock?”

“Did that thang just speak to me?”

“Chill out Rock, if we both get along we can have a good thing going here.”

“First off, TERRENCE!  The name is ‘Rocky’; you don’t know me like that.  And secondly, get your ass off my couch!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, chill out”

“Hey man, I’m not your dude.  The last time we had one of your kind in here, it didn’t go so well.”

“Yeah, everybody got a kick out of how Sabrina made you pee on yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do.  I can still smell the dog pee in here.  It was over in that corner there wasn’t it?  I believe that’s where Sabrina and her eyes had your knees wobbling and your pee dripping; at least that’s the story going around in the alleys these days?”

“Oh Lordy, hold me back!  Somebody hold me back!  I see it’s getting to be time for some poodle soup with a little cat meat thrown in.”

“Yeah right Rock!”

“My name is ROCKY!”

“Hey brother, you need to calm down.  This is going to go real smooth if you relax.  You can call me just like the ladies call me, ‘The Love Doctor’”

“Oh my precious Lord.  Did this clown just tell me to call him ‘The Love Doctor’?”

“’Precious Lord’, oh yeah, I heard that meeting Sabrina had converted you to Christianity”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.  This has always been a Christian household.”

“HA!  Yeah right.  Like when that poodle mysteriously disappeared on that boat you were on.”

“Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Listen ‘Terrence’, your mouth is writing checks your ass can’t cash.  I suggest you recognize ‘The Rock’ as the head of this household.  Ol’ Brad here barely gets to make any decisions himself and he pays all the bills!”

“Hey Rock”

“I said, it’s ROCKY!”

“Whatever Rock, ‘The Love Doctor’ needs to get his rest.  I got more than one lady to take care of tonight in alley six, AND alley three.  I’m just going to lay back here and close my eyes and catch me some zees”

“Yeah you do that ‘Terrence’. Go ahead, close your eyes.”

“Chill out Rock”

“Hey Brad, I’m thinking that cat has got two days man, TWO DAYS.”

“Let it rest Rocky”

“Let it rest my ass! ‘The Love Doctor’, are you serious, you have got to be kidding me.  Not in my house.”

At this point, Terrence ‘The Love Doctor’ starts snoring.  The snoring enrages Rocky and all of a sudden ROCKY POUNCES!  It’s all over.  Rocky’s owner freaks out!

“ROCKY!”

“Um huh, I told that fool to stop calling me ‘Rock’, like he know me.  He knows me now!  Knows my insides; you got a toothpick?”

“ROCKY!  What have you done?”

“That was some good ol’ ‘Love Doctor’ soup.  No really, you got a toothpick?”

Brad freaks out and grabs his head almost pulling his hair out and then yells to his girlfriend in the kitchen.

“Kathy!  I think your cat got out…  I left the door open honey.”

“He got OUT alright, got OUT OF LINE!”

“Shut up Rocky!”

“I think I’ll catch me some ‘zees’ on my available couch.”

“You’re going to pay for this Rocky.”

“You love me.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

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They Did It!

 

THEY DID IT!

by

Anthonystjoseph

     It was the first full night of sleep in the year two thousand and fourteen, I awoke after having the most chilling dream.  It was a lot more realistic and thorough than the dream of the same sort I had as a child.  It was a dream of the end; the end for all of us.  The end that politics, men, and their stupidity have possibly created for us all.

     I was in Arizona walking with a friend and I ended up in a house where I was moving in.  I was talking with this friend when the ground started to shake.  The house even started to move and things started to fall.  The whole world it seemed was shaking and all.  We joked to each other that it was an earthquake in ‘Arizona’.  The earthquake stopped.  Then I half joked and thought that there was a nuclear bomb that went off somewhere and then as we turned a fleet of personal boats went by being carted on the railroad tracks at rapid speed going west. 

     The sky was blue and the sun was shining.  The weather looked great aside from the quake.  Something in my soul at the sign of the ships, the ships going west, told me that this was really a mess.  They had finally done it.  Someone somewhere had set off a nuclear bomb and we all know that they don’t come in ones.   Nuclear bombs bring a whole new meaning to ‘one and done’.  It was then and only then that I made the decision that I needed a gun.

     My friend and I went into a pawn shop that was owned by another friend and I explained that I felt I needed a gun.  I again, jokingly told them that the earthquake was no earthquake and the time had come.  I asked for the least expensive gun that they had and he showed me a used handgun in its case for twenty nine dollars and ninety nine cents.  I handed him my credit card as the sky turned to gray.  I turned to look out the window at the sky turning gray and then all of a sudden the clouds lowered to almost touch the ground.  The clouds looked as if they were new to what was going on and even they did not know how to react.  Then the clouds turned to dark blue green and just gave up and started dripping like clay turned to liquid and then I knew that it was true.  THEY HAD DONE IT!  I turned back to everyone in the darkened pawn shop as we all knew it was true and through a tear filled crumpled face I said, “They did it, they finally did it”.

     I picked up my gun and gave him my credit card and went to put in my bullets and awoke.  My television was still on from the night before and the credits to a movie were rolling.  The movie was, ‘Kingdom Of Heaven’.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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