Rocky's Competition

 

ROCKY’S COMPETITION

by

Anthonystjoseph

Rocky’s owner has fallen in love again and this time it’s a woman from his job who has moved in with another ‘cat’.

“Oh goody gumdrops, here we go again.”

“Just let it rest Rocky”

“What do you mean ‘let it rest’?  Didn’t you learn your lesson from that last ‘demon cat’ you let up in this house?  Or should I say, didn’t WE learn our lesson?”

“This cat is different Rocky.  Kathy tells me he’s sort of like you.  He’s an old tom cat that only worries about all of his ladies.”

“Oh dude, don’t even go there.  Nobody can compete on the same ‘player’ level as Rocky.  You know what they say, ‘Rocky has all the ladies.  Spring, Summer, or Fall, Rocky has ‘em all.”

“Whatever Rocky.”

“Whatever is right! If it’s wearing a dog dress and comes to my dog park then Rocky is all over it…  Hey, hey, hey, hey!”

At this point, Terrence, the new cat of the house that is all black with big beautiful yellow green eyes comes into the living room and jumps up on the couch and then lays down all casually like he owns the joint.

“And look at that thang lounging on my couch like he’s the master of this kingdom when we both know I rule this roost!”

Rocky’s owner responds, “This is MY ‘roost’ Rocky.”

“Whatever dude”

All of a sudden Terrence the cat speaks up

“What’s up Rock?”

“Did that thang just speak to me?”

“Chill out Rock, if we both get along we can have a good thing going here.”

“First off, TERRENCE!  The name is ‘Rocky’; you don’t know me like that.  And secondly, get your ass off my couch!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, chill out”

“Hey man, I’m not your dude.  The last time we had one of your kind in here, it didn’t go so well.”

“Yeah, everybody got a kick out of how Sabrina made you pee on yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do.  I can still smell the dog pee in here.  It was over in that corner there wasn’t it?  I believe that’s where Sabrina and her eyes had your knees wobbling and your pee dripping; at least that’s the story going around in the alleys these days?”

“Oh Lordy, hold me back!  Somebody hold me back!  I see it’s getting to be time for some poodle soup with a little cat meat thrown in.”

“Yeah right Rock!”

“My name is ROCKY!”

“Hey brother, you need to calm down.  This is going to go real smooth if you relax.  You can call me just like the ladies call me, ‘The Love Doctor’”

“Oh my precious Lord.  Did this clown just tell me to call him ‘The Love Doctor’?”

“’Precious Lord’, oh yeah, I heard that meeting Sabrina had converted you to Christianity”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.  This has always been a Christian household.”

“HA!  Yeah right.  Like when that poodle mysteriously disappeared on that boat you were on.”

“Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Listen ‘Terrence’, your mouth is writing checks your ass can’t cash.  I suggest you recognize ‘The Rock’ as the head of this household.  Ol’ Brad here barely gets to make any decisions himself and he pays all the bills!”

“Hey Rock”

“I said, it’s ROCKY!”

“Whatever Rock, ‘The Love Doctor’ needs to get his rest.  I got more than one lady to take care of tonight in alley six, AND alley three.  I’m just going to lay back here and close my eyes and catch me some zees”

“Yeah you do that ‘Terrence’. Go ahead, close your eyes.”

“Chill out Rock”

“Hey Brad, I’m thinking that cat has got two days man, TWO DAYS.”

“Let it rest Rocky”

“Let it rest my ass! ‘The Love Doctor’, are you serious, you have got to be kidding me.  Not in my house.”

At this point, Terrence ‘The Love Doctor’ starts snoring.  The snoring enrages Rocky and all of a sudden ROCKY POUNCES!  It’s all over.  Rocky’s owner freaks out!

“ROCKY!”

“Um huh, I told that fool to stop calling me ‘Rock’, like he know me.  He knows me now!  Knows my insides; you got a toothpick?”

“ROCKY!  What have you done?”

“That was some good ol’ ‘Love Doctor’ soup.  No really, you got a toothpick?”

Brad freaks out and grabs his head almost pulling his hair out and then yells to his girlfriend in the kitchen.

“Kathy!  I think your cat got out…  I left the door open honey.”

“He got OUT alright, got OUT OF LINE!”

“Shut up Rocky!”

“I think I’ll catch me some ‘zees’ on my available couch.”

“You’re going to pay for this Rocky.”

“You love me.”

By

Anthonystjoseph

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