ARGUING WITH GOD!
By
Anthonystjoseph
A friend just told me today that they
‘had’ to go to church this Sunday because they have missed the last two
Sundays. I replied, “Well I haven’t gone
to church in around four Sundays because God and I are arguing right now. She said, “What do you mean!?!” I said, “Well the last time we talked, we,
God and I, got into a serious argument and I feel it’s necessary that when
you’re arguing with somebody you don’t go over to their house until all parties
concerned have calmed down.” I felt that
the argument got to the point where we were both saying things that we didn’t
mean. He was saying things like, “Mary
hold me back! You better hold me back
MARY! I’m telling you to HOLD ME
BACK!” I was saying things like, “NO
Mary! Let him go! I ain’t scared! LET HIM GO!”
Then Jesus piped in with, “Tony!
Can’t you just keep your mouth shut just ONE TIME!” I said, “HE STARTED IT!”
These arguments between God and I go way
back and have carried on from lifetime to lifetime. I remember the time when he got so mad at me
he screamed, “I’ll STRIKE YOU DOWN YOU LITTLE…!” I yelled back, “THEN GO AHEAD AND STRIKE
ME! I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO HAVE ME!” Apparently that last statement of mine is one
that really gets his goat because believe it or not he then closed his eyes and
said, “Serenity now, serenity now.” He
scares me the most when he gets that quiet tone that he’s known for and starts
talking about serenity.
I think his main problem is that he always
has to WIN every single argument. He
thinks he knows everything, and if you have ever known someone who thinks they
know everything then you know what I have to deal with. Have you ever been in an argument with
someone who has to win every single debate and has to have every SINGLE last word? It can get to be so annoying. I am constantly telling myself to just let
him think what he wants and just shut up and that I know the truth, but I just
can’t keep my mouth shut as Jesus would and does say.
The one thing he’s NOT going to do is
apologize so I’m just going to give him some time to cool down and generally
that doesn’t take long with him because he’s got so many other problem children
aside from me to take care of that in that way I’m lucky. When it comes to some of the other problem children
I look like a saint. That’s why he calls
me Anthonystjoseph. When he’s in a good
mood and I haven’t pissed him off he often tells me how much he loves me and
that Saint Anthony and Saint Joseph are proud of me since I was named after
them. We have lots of good times but the
arguments just get carried away sometimes and he can be spiteful and vengeful
and really ‘mess’ my days up when he’s mad but I go on and hold my head high
knowing that I’m right and sometimes he’s not all right. He then lets me know that he’s always right
and I then say, “Sure you are” with my fingers crossed behind my back. Once Jesus told on me and said, “His fingers
are crossed dad.” God yelled, “YOU DON’T
THINK I KNOW THAT! I KNOW EVERYTHING!”
By
Anthonystjoseph
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