Snowflake

 

SNOWFLAKE

by

Anthonystjoseph

     In my quest to try and understand this extremely lazy character that’s called a literary agent in today’s world, I find myself increasingly disappointed and saddened as to what qualifies or labels themselves as a literary agent.  Although I have felt disappointment in this quest, I have never felt anger as I did today when reading a literary agents blog by Linda Epstein titled ‘The Blabbermouth Blog’.  This woman who calls herself a literary agent tells potential clients that they are “not” a “snowflake”.  I am currently laughing.  Let me state word for word what this ‘person’ Linda Epstein says to her potential clients.  She says, “You are not a snowflake.  You are not special or unique or even much of an individual...”  It is in her blog that she places the ‘not’s in bold to really remind you that you are nothing to her.  She then goes on to have a moment of sanity and says, “Well, perhaps you are…”  I was completely appalled by this woman Linda Epstein who declares herself a literary agent.  This woman seems to be the personification of the lazy beast of today that is allowed to masquerade in a career label and breed that is self-destructing. 

     The literary agent of today is completely destroying the publishing world.  This destruction is compounded by the fact that the human being’s attention span is finding the audio visual world of input a much better way to entertain themselves or even educate themselves and leaving the world of books by the wayside altogether.  If I were a literary agent I would only be looking for snowflakes in today’s world of writers because it is those snowflakes like Dan Brown and James Redfield who are going to save the publishing world if they are allowed.  James Redfield who is one of today’s most successful authors had to self-publish his first book in order to be noticed.  It is almost impossible to get these lazy literary agents of today to read anything.  They are all too busy as Linda Epstein put it to read your submissions.  I want to ask Linda Epstein and the other ‘so busy’ agents, “What in the hell are you doing?”  Oh, I know, you’re at a convention kissing Anjelica Huston, Tavis Smiley, and Neil Patrick Harris’s butts because those are the people you are considering as authors these days and those are the only submissions you wish to read.  A ‘Real Housewife’ who is famous for flipping a table can get more books published than a modern day undiscovered Mark Twain.  I say to Linda Epstein, your field and career is laughable and you are letting humanity down.  It is your job to read almost every submission you receive whether you feel they jumped through your hoops or followed your control mechanisms or not. 

     I have one important thing to say to the agent Linda Epstein and those like her, you are right, “YOU are not a snowflake!”  I will not accept an agent who is not a snowflake for as an author, ‘I AM’ a snowflake.  Mark Twain was a snowflake.  Emily Dickinson was a snowflake.  Shakespeare is a snowflake.  And more importantly, when it comes to reading, the only thing worth absorbing is something that is as unique as a snowflake.  Otherwise, why read it if you’ve read it before.  And one last time, “I am a snowflake”.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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