Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Anthonystjoseph Dot Com





Anthonystjoseph Dot Com

by

Anthonystjoseph



     So, about a year or so ago, maybe longer, I noticed that Yahoo and everybody else who offers Web Hosting Services was offering these services at much lower price than what I was paying.  One company I was associated with had just purchased a hosting plan at FIVE DOLLARS a month.  This made me feel like a really bad shopper since I had been paying almost thirteen dollars a month for my Web Hosting plan at Yahoo.  I really don’t ever feel like dealing with computer issues because computers are not my forte.  I finally gathered the mental energy to call Yahoo and ask about this and I was brusquely informed that those prices weren’t available to their OLD customers.

     Now wait a minute…  You are telling me that for over a year you’ve been selling services at lower prices and charging loyal customers like myself higher prices…  These NEW customers weren’t getting special pricing for a few months or an introductory trail period; they were getting these prices as permanent monthly payments!  Let me help you understand the idiocy of this from a consumer point of view.  If I come to your fruit stand EVERY day for six years and buy an apple for a dollar every day and then I find out you have been selling the guy in front of me the same APPLE for fifty cents because he HASN’T been coming to your for SIX YEARS then what kind of FOOL am I?  And what kind of FOOL are you for not recognizing the loyalty of six years…

     You better ask Direct TV how I handle bad business practices.  The point I’m trying to get to is that Anthonystjoseph Dot Com is under construction because I told Yahoo to get the HOOK!  I own my domain name until the Earth will change its own name so I am not worried about that part of it, but it will take me a while to gather the right-side brain energy to rebuild my site and I might just link it to this blog while I’m busy…  I have the book to finish and I cannot spend too much energy on that right now.  ‘Cut off my nose to spite my face’, that’s a part of being the human race.

By

Anthonystjoseph
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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Direct TV: My Media Pimp


                                                                                                                   

Direct TV: My Media Pimp

by

Anthonystjoseph


     For a year or so now I have been contemplating and planning an exit strategy from the high cost of cable due to two reasons.  First off, I think it’s too expensive to pay anyone around a hundred dollars a month just to watch television.  When I grew up we had four channels that were free and we were fine.  Secondly, I have a book that I only have six or so chapters to finish and I really need to finish this book to get onto some other projects…  I have always had a problem with Direct TV’s marketing standards and practices of luring you in with a very low monthly advertisement that seems impossible to get if you want to watch shows in color.  Direct TV is a pimp selling other peoples goods and products with an extremely low overhead just like all pimps DEMAND.  If you sell a product that isn’t yours then you’re a PIMP!  You are pandering goods.  Well, even though it’s going to be tough to do, like many a ho should, I’m saying goodbye to my PIMP named Direct TV. I’m going to do it!

     When I first bought my home I took a while to settle on cable companies because they all want you to sign a contract.  All good pimps know that the real money is in long term procurements.  I eventually settled on Direct TV due to the fact that they seemed like the lesser of the evils in all of the ‘three’ choices that were available in my neighborhood.  I answered an ad of Direct TV’s that said, ‘$24.95’ a month…  I have never seen a cable bill that was even close to that price.  Apparently, if I wanted the television to be able to turn on and off and for my picture to be in color and blah, blah, blah…  They got me for about a hundred a month with no movie channels.  I did get HBO free for three months though.  It’s like a pimp letting you wear the best dress for the first few months you work for him.

     I spent several phone calls while the pimp explained to me why my monthly payments weren’t anywhere near close to the advertised price and still don’t understand that to this day.  I later purchased a High Definition Television and Direct TV, my pimp, then told me I had to pay FIVE DOLLARS more a month to get a HIGH DEFINITION BOX if I wanted to see my OWN high definition!  This act reminded me of the pimps who use to charge their whores for water when they wanted to wash up!  It was at this point that I wanted OUT!  I realized I had entered into an arrangement with a ruthless, money grubbing, PIMP.  Direct TV, my pimp, told me that if I wanted out I had to pay. 

     Now, like most ho’s know, I was addicted to ‘The Game’ so I couldn’t just leave.  I couldn’t be without my ‘Voice’, or not pay attention to my ‘Housewife’.  How could I ‘Think I Can Dance’ without my ‘Moves Like Jagger’.  One thing I know I would be happy about would be the fact that I wouldn’t have the inclination to indulge in familiar bad habits that the pimp offered like the local ‘Bad Girls Club’; I can surely miss that part of the life.  The main reason resonating in the back of my mind is that I need to finish writing this book.  You can write the book or read the book.  I’m here to do both.

     Well I have been getting close to making the decision to break away from my pimp named Direct TV and lo and behold my pimp has nudged me on…  I guess in some way my pimp cares about me.  My pimp, Direct TV, has chosen to tell several of his clients like MTV, CMT, BET, Nickelodeon, VH1, and others that the deal is not going to change and the prices are going to stay the same for THEIR product…  This is funny to me since my pimp has RAISED my prices!  I am going to leave this dirty money grubbing pimp I swear.  I’m going to DO IT!

     Some people say, ‘It’s hard out here for a pimp’.  Well I say, ‘it’s hard out here for a ho’!  I got needs…  I suffer from addiction.  I’m addicted to enjoyable television in the way most ‘Modern Families’ are…  I know I have to watch my ‘housewife’ at work otherwise she feels neglected.  I just have to tell myself that there are other avenues to fulfill my needs…  There’s always Netflix, DVD’s, and even a friends couch if it gets to that point, but I’m going to do it!

     I just have to get this one last FIX!  You see, ‘Dance Moms’ comes on tonight and I have to see if Chloe or Paige’s mom finally gets a good verbal gut punch in on Abby Lee Miller because it gives me a warm feeling when I see the little guys win once or twice on the reality shows…  I guess I can always go to the networks websites and watch the shows the next day as all of them mostly do.  I’M GOING TO DO IT!

     All in all, I already ‘Know I Can Dance’ and I already knew how to ‘Move Like Jagger’ and I have always had my ‘VOICE’ so I’m going to do it.  I’m going to tell my pimp, DIRECT TV, to take his overpriced plastic boxes and wires and get out of my life.  I’m keeping my money for myself!  I don’t need you Direct TV like you THINK I NEED YOU!  I’m going to DO IT!  I hope I don’t feel like Lonette McKee in ‘Sparkle’ when she told her sister who knocked the cocaine out of her hand and then she scrambled to the floor for the crumbs she could find saying, “Your sister can’t fly on her own wings.”  I can fly.  Like I said, ‘tomorrow’ I’m going to call them and cancel my pimp’s services, I can do it.  I AM GOING TO DO IT!

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Friday, July 6, 2012

What Does God Want?


 
 
WHAT DOES GOD WANT?

by

Anthonystjoseph


     We all, or I should say a lot of us, constantly, and some only sometimes, ask ourselves, ‘What does God want?’  It is an extremely valid question that anyone with any amount of common sense would ask themselves at least once living in this existence.  A lot of us as children were told that God was in charge of everything and God created everything.  So it made sense to me as a young person taught about God to ask myself and HIM, what did he want?  I was taught that God was a he.  With all of his angry outbursts that I have grown accustomed to I am starting to think that he might be a woman with menstrual cycles, but I digress. 

     So if God created everything, including us, and is in charge of everything, including us, then what does he want?  We start out as babies only concerned with what we want.  Then as our comprehension grows and the fear or love of God is instilled; beliefs can go either way involving fear or love.  But at a certain point when comprehension grows, we usually start to concern ourselves with what God may want as well.  Any fool who has ever read any bible or had a grandmother like mine who had a concrete disposition to constantly remind one of the perils of Hell and damnation would, and will, most likely concern themselves with what God wants.

     This plagued me as a young child because I certainly always wanted to be a winner and I did not want to end up as one of the biggest losers of all time and end up in some burning pit of fire and flames with no rest from the constant heat, no ability to sleep, and no food whatsoever!  It just went on and on…  Forgive me, my grandmother was very descriptive.   So all throughout my life as a logically thinking man I have been planning my strategy for judgment day.  My intention in planning my strategy is of course to make sure that I don’t end up in the burning pit of unending flames with unending pain and an extreme lack of sleep.  Since the act of sleep and rest have always been a true love and passion of mine, I decided a long time ago to have a strategy to make sure that my sleep and I didn’t part eternal ways.  

     My strategy for avoiding the unending fiery pits of hell has changed throughout the years but for the last ten to fifteen years it has been the same.  I was at some social political function and as usual solicited and encouraged a conversation on spirituality.  I have always been fascinated with the afterlife and what happens next because of my strong religious upbringing combined with an inner sense that there is more to this story and existence on Earth than anyone is telling.  It was also a quest to find the truth due to my grandmother’s power to instill a fear of ‘bad living’.  I know there are a couple of examples of ‘bad living’ in that bible where you will see a picture of me as an example and the caption that says, ‘bad living:  don’t be like this fool’. 

     So in living this life of spontaneous moments of ‘bad living’, I would again, constantly seek out help for my legal case that I was clearly preparing for Judgment Day when my trial came up.  I already knew I was going to have to represent myself in this trial because no one else was going to risk their eternal soul on my behalf.  At one point in this life peppered with ‘bad living’ my own family said, “un-huh brother, that’s all you…”  So I know they aren’t going to testify for me.  But my case has been prepared in full and I am pretty sure it won’t even make it to trial.  It won’t go to trial because of what this learned individual told me at this political function.  He told me that there is a religion and faith in South America that believes as long as you make one person smile in your lifetime then you get to GO TO HEAVEN!  That’s it!  I’M IN!!!  Right at that moment and point in time I realized my plan.  On Judgment Day I am going to JUMP in the line with the people from South America who have that belief of ‘making one person smile’ getting you into heaven.  My plan and their rule system is certainly a lot easier to do then the Ten Commandments.  I’m not sure there isn’t one commandment I haven’t broke.  As far as killing is concerned, I use to have a BB gun when I was a little boy; no bird was safe!  Now the people from South America are going to be shorter than me because I am quite tall so on Judgment Day when I sneak in their line I am going to have to duck until I get through the gates.  It’s all comedy, it’s all comedy; until someone ends up in a fiery pit!

     It’s as babies that we are only concerned with what ‘we’ want; then it’s as young adults and hopefully more intelligent beings that some of us try to figure out what God may want.  I believe the true growth point that we should try to evolve to is to have our wants in sync with what God wants.  If the God you believe in is the one I believe in then these wants are all filled with righteousness and love and that’s it.  Until God sits me down and personally tells me this and that, the only thing I can do is live my life righteously and try my best not to intentionally harm anyone.  As long as I don’t intentionally harm anyone I am pretty sure that if on Judgment Day my case does go to trial, I shall come out victorious and free of any burn marks and eating regular food.

     It’s all comedy, it’s all comedy.  Yeah, it’s all fun and games until somebody ends up on their deathbed begging for forgiveness.  Okay ya’ll, I’m going to bed ~ see you tomorrow!

by

Anthonystjoseph

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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Where's Your Pride?


 

Where’s Your Pride?

by

Anthonystjoseph


     Unfortunately I had to go to a place this week that I rarely like to go to…  It’s a place where somebody gets my GOAT!  I ran into a man who was an individual that was so without any ethics, morals, principles, or any type of a scruple whatsoever.  The problem that this man presented to me was that he was one of my workers on a construction and remodeling project that I was managing.  At a certain point I realized the worker was more interested in ‘collecting’ items from the jobsite than actually working and doing what he was hired to do…  It became so obvious with his wandering eyes and pilfering hands that I realized this man had no pride and was clearly letting the world know, I’m here to steal.  He was a real life hyena or Australian Dingo completely without pride.

     Some people like to get people’s goats.  I don’t mess with anyone’s goat.  If there’s anything that always remains on the top of my wish list, it’s that nobody ‘gets my goat’ to come out.  My goat is so ugly that even I don’t like it!  My goat is so ruthless that it even scares me.  It’s ruthless because it’s very thorough in displaying itself and dispensing of problems.  So for someone who really wants to see it, it shall be done.  I am so thankful and grateful that my goat has not somehow ruined my existence.  Fortunately, intelligence and quick wittedness have usually always controlled my goat, and when that has failed, I have counted on heavenly intervention which has never let me down.

     I then ordered the unscrupulous worker off of my jobsite after he gave me an attitude when I asked his name…  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  See, some people get real confused with my pretty face, long hair, and jovial nature…  They think they’re dealing with a pushover or someone they can push over!  That’s not the case here.  I was born in the North, trained in the South, founded in the East, and reared in the West; any direction you want to take this we can definitely work it out.  I am the Alpha in my pride. 

     My words are my pulpit and my stories are my sermons, all I’m trying to do is preach.  I’m about to preach to this ‘lack of pride’.  You are a grown man.  You are hired to work.  The other grown men who were hired with you are working… You should be too.  Instead, you are malingering and eyeballing merchandise that is not yours.  You have placed stuff in your van that is NOT yours.  You need to get out of here and go find your pride.  You need to go back and ask your momma or your daddy for it because they’re the ones who forgot to give it to you!

     Now I’m not talking about an over abundance of pride because most know that is wrong and delves into the areas of conceit.  We’re talking about the kind of pride were your mother and father can say, “I’m proud of my son”, “I’m proud of my daughter”.  We’re talking about the kind of pride that makes you walk the walk to where your own kids can say, “That’s my dad”, and be proud to say it.  “That’s my mom”, and glad to say it.  I’m sad to say that this man wasn’t a member of my Pride.  He needed to get off my jobsite and go find his pride because he wasn’t a member of mine…

By

Anthonysjtoseph

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

My Secret Chambers



 


MY SECRET CHAMBERS

by

Anthonystjoseph


     Falling in love is a very dangerous sport…  I have no problems loving the world and things and people in the world; but loving one person is something that I always sought, but yet and still managed to avoid.  I have loved a few people in my life and by few I mean three.  The three people that I loved were very safe acts of love because the love was never returned…  It was safe…  In all my years I remained in a safe cubicle of existence while keeping my heart protected from ALL danger…  Then it happened…

     I managed to fall in love with someone who managed to love me back.  This was extremely dangerous as my chromosomes and DNA were sending extreme warning signs of, “You fool!” and “Aw damn, after all this time, this fool done gone and FELL OFF!”  I knew that my heart itself was even saying, “No, No, No, you know you have a murmur…”  There was an inner battle going on inside of me with the two sides being my desire to be loved and love, and my desire to protect myself from harm and a crushed heart. 

     When you love someone and they love you back you enter into parts of your heart and soul that are raw, pink, and unprotected.  You can literally be crushed and watch as a bystander while someone takes your heart and squeezes it like a rag while they smile and laugh with their friends…  These are the horrible images a broken heart produces…  A broken heart becomes the Benedict Arnold of your existence…  It laughs at you, it cries with you, it mocks you, it reminisces with you, it keeps beating for you, it becomes the warden of your thoughts and it’s all in retribution for letting someone into its secret place.  It treats you as the traitor because you let the culprit in…  Your heart tells you when you’re alone, “YOU DID THIS!”  You tell your heart when you’re alone, “YOU LET IT HAPPEN!"
 
     I’ve only let one person into the secret chambers of my heart.  That person stayed there and put up pictures and moved in with promises of staying…  My heart said, “Okay, but it’s on you rookie.”  I took the responsibility.  Then one day I went to the secret chambers of my heart and the pictures were gone and the walls were empty…  They had left my secret chambers and my heart was PISSED!  My heart actually turned on me and said, “Now I’m going to show you pain.”  I screamed at my heart through my tears of loss, “What are you talking about?  I’m the one alone.”  My heart screamed at the top of its lungs, “WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER!”

     I ran to the refrigerator and opened a can of Budweiser.  I didn’t stop opening those cans for two to three weeks…  I also used Benadryl to sleep because I felt I needed the assistance and aid to help shut my heart up because it had NEVER treated me this way before.  “Yap, yap, yap, you did it, YOU DID IT!”  We had always been so good together…  We never let each other out of the others sight…  We did everything together.  We were friends for life. 

     That had all changed…  Eventually I crawled up off the floor and got my heart to realize that we had to stay friends and that we HAD to stick together and the abuse that it was putting me through was serving neither one of us any good. 

     My heart is now at this present time in a slight self induced coma…  It is refusing to speak to me and has sent a message via intercom that it is leaving this decision to fate and myself.  You see, my heart was listening in on the phone call I just had…  The CULPRIT is BACK!  My heart knows that I’m powerless against the 'culprit'.  A spy that I instilled in my heart after the big 'blowout' we had has informed me that my heart is secretly pulling for the culprit to succeed in entering the secret chambers again because apparently my heart said, “That’s what it’s there for.”

By

Anthonystjoseph






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Monday, May 7, 2012

Whale Wars


 

WHALE WARS

by

Anthonystjoseph


     Normally my stories, although thought provoking and spiritual, always involve a heavy dose of humor combined with sharp wit and a deep sense of enlightenment.  Somebody stop ME!  This time the only thing that I pray to God that I can inspire and evoke is enlightenment.  I had just finished another grueling day of work which involved navigating a human idiot at work and trying to put his idiotic brain pattern out of my mind and catch a nap when I happened to choose the wrong channel to nap to.  The television channel in question is the Animal Planet and the show that they were showcasing was this reality show that I have managed to miss called Whale Wars, one of a few that I’ve missed for I love reality shows.   All of a sudden I was clutching my chest and tensing my body trying everything that I could to help these poor defenseless whales get away from these Japanese Whaling vessels that are hunting and killing these whales.  Then, right in front of me on my own television in my own damn house in my own damn bedroom while I was trying to nap they harpooned a whale with a cannon and a steel arrow the size of a small telephone pole that looked like it could have killed King Kong and served as the devil’s toothpick. 

     My nap was clearly over and I was glued to the channel as I wondered what I could do to stop this act of insanity.  I realized that I have never been more involved in anything that I have seen on television before as I watched the Japanese whaling vessel chase and kill the fourth whale of the day.  I watched hoping and praying as the intelligent whales, who had already watched three of their friends and family be slaughtered just minutes earlier, tried to outrun the harpoon on the front of the whaling boat.  The whales were swimming as fast as they could and they were trying their hardest.  The whales in their intelligence knew that if they stopped long enough to take a deep breath to dive that the killers on the boat would get them with the steel arrow that looked the size of a small car.  The harpoon that they used to catch and haul the whales had to be big and thick and sharp in order to penetrate and retrieve the whale when they struck it. The Japanese whalers just chased the whales at a steady pace, the whalers were running on fuel and the whales were running on fear and adrenaline.  Needless to say the whalers have more fuel than these poor defenseless whales have adrenaline.  The whale that was being chased, he was one of two whom happen to tire out first, finally slowed down and was only around thirty feet from the harpoon boat when the man shot him with the harpoon.  It was an explosive release of the harpoon that you could feel and an even deeper explosion in your heart than the loud explosion that you heard when the harpoon hit the whale and the water burst and blood poured and the whale SCREAMED!  My God!  And sometimes I think he is MY GOD and maybe not all of yours.  How can we as humans, I know I can’t, kill so easily.  

     These were Orca Whales, or as some call them Killer Whales that these so called Japanese ‘Research’ vessels were killing so let me tell you a little bit about these whales.  Quite some years ago I had a friend who was infatuated with whales and inspired me to read a great book on the subject of whales and I learned a great deal.  First off, a little known fact is that the Orca or Killer Whale is actually a dolphin.  It just happens to be so big that they call it a whale but in fact it is a dolphin.  The fetus of the Orca is very much like the fetus of a human.  They have arms, legs, toes, and a head.  One might alert oneself to the simple fact that their brain is larger than ours and their vocabulary is also larger than ours so you might have to face a judge and jury upstairs if you do find yourself killing or eating one of these sentient beings. 

     As I watched the Japanese Whaler raise his fist in triumph over harpooning the whale and witnessing the explosive sound of death that he caused I was overcome with disbelief.  I will disclose my own bout with killing at this point to help you to understand my disbelief at his lack of concern in taking life. 

     As a young boy in Phoenix, Arizona, I hoped and dreamed that my mother would someday give me that BB gun that I always wanted.  Even though I try not to identify with most of the testosterone related pitfalls that are set for us men, I was born one so I have succumbed to a few of the traps.  Finally, a male friend of my mother’s pulled out a BB gun at his house while my mother and I were visiting.  I think I started salivating on myself like a male dog in heat who has just been shown a horny poodle that only came up to his knees.  I was speechless as I stared at the power of the Gun while my mother’s friend explained that it was no ordinary BB gun.  This Gun happened to be a Benjamin Franklin 22-caliber pump action pellet gun.  I was holding this power in my hand and rubbing the real wood and simply lost in the weight of the seemingly real rifle.  The man said that if it was okay with my mother that he had no more use for the gun and if she said okay, ‘I could have it.’  Well it was either the attraction that my mother had for this gentleman or the steel, soul threatening bullets, if she said no, that were coming from my eyes that convinced her to say yes.  I was happier than a pig that lives in the back of a buffet restaurant that gets all of the leftovers from uneaten portions where they watch you too close to sneak out what you don’t eat.  It was heaven.

     Since my new Benjamin Franklin 22-caliber pellet gun was pump action, you know I had to spend all night in my pajamas pumping it, the rifle, to its maximum power for that first shot in the morning and I knew exactly what I was going to shoot, BIRDS!  I learned with my first shot what the United States Army would learn later.  I was an expert with a rifle.  The first bird I saw was a sparrow and let me tell you that two minutes after I saw him, he saw God!  I went on for weeks killing every bird I could catch standing still for a few seconds and some that were even in flight.  I remember to this day the hummingbird I shot in flight and how small he was when I walked up on him.  All I thought of was how good a shot I was for shooting something so small that was MOVING!  WHO’S BAD!  I WAS!  That was all soon to change.

     My mother and I at this stage in my childhood development lived in some condos on Thunderbird Trail right on the golf course near South Mountain in Phoenix, Arizona.  The golf course provided little Tony with plenty of hunting grounds.  It was the first shot of the day and I think I had even forgone breakfast in order to get my first kill in.  I was walking on the golf course with my rifle slung over my shoulder like the true Tennessee backwoods hunter that I had descended from.  I had only got about fifty yards from my home when I spotted him.  There he was just as pretty as can be and waiting just for me to provide myself with a new merit badge for my crimson soaked collar.  It was a new merit badge of bragging because this was a RAVEN!  I had never killed one of those before.  I had taken out silly sparrows, passive doves, nasty pigeons, cranky crows, and even some tired quail, but never a RAVEN!

     I stopped in my tracks and slowed my movements as I watched the majestic raven with his regal posture stand proud atop the telephone pole and observe the land and smell the wind.  I took my rifle off my shoulder around a hundred feet from the very tall telephone pole that he was perched on.  The telephone poles were a lot taller than normal telephone poles in order to keep the telephone wires from interfering with the golfers shots.  I aimed my Benjamin Franklin Rifle right at the raven and let all the power of the first shot of the morning, with all the pumps through the night, loose.  I exhaled after the shot with a smile on my face and looked at the raven and nothing happened.  I was a little shocked.  I rarely missed.  I looked at my rifle wondering if it was working and it seemed to be fine and then I looked back at the raven as he continued to stand atop the pole majestically and then it happened. 

     As I looked back at the raven, all of a sudden, he just leaned over and fell the huge distance from the extremely tall ‘golf course’ telephone pole and hit the ground.  I swear to this day that there was a loud dull thump when he hit the ground, and my soul even remembers the ground thump were I was standing as well.  I looked around to see if anyone saw because something about this act of murder seemed different.  Although all life is precious this was no silly sparrow.  I slowly walked up to the raven and when I got up to it I experienced some of the deepest sense of regret and fear that I had ever felt up to that point in my life.  I looked down on a bird that was bigger than a small poodle.  I again looked around because I knew I was going to jail because this bird was so big that it clearly had a birth certificate and a driver’s license.  I was so scared that I turned and ran all the way home and never in my life wanted to shoot another bird again.  I even avoided stepping on ants after that little act.  Now don’t get me wrong here.  If I find a bug up in my house and they aren’t on the mortgage, they got to go, and by go I mean RAID.  Don’t make me break out Luke 10:19, ‘…behold, I give unto you the power to trample on serpents and scorpions…’ to me that means spiders and snakes!  I don’t like them.

     Seriously speaking, I could feel and tell that the raven I had shot was a creature that was most likely intelligent and clearly I had no right on God’s earth killing.  It didn’t take the later knowledge in life that ravens were monogamous and kept the same mate for their entire life to make me regret my actions, nor did it take the actions of the ravens that later in life followed me for four blocks to protect me from imminent danger to make me feel sadness over my actions.  It also didn’t take the ravens that seemed to watch over me on my journey from San Diego to Denver when I found out my grandmother passed during the trip.  It simply took the true emotions of a considerate and compassionate human being to walk up on that large creature and realize that I was in the wrong.  I had taken a beautiful creatures life that when I was up close to it was one of the most beautiful animals that I had ever seen.  I wrote a piece titled ‘Stoned’ which was an homage to one of the birds I shot that is also on my album ‘Passion Flowers’ and it goes like this ~

‘He said to me again and again

Just don’t you worry

You’ve been chosen to win

For all the cries of ‘you’re crazy I see’

You are more and more with We

For you have been chosen to help spread the word

As one would if a hummingbird

For when you were young and the one that you shot

With him and with you there was a lot

He is still with thee as he will always be

But for him and you to do there is a lot.’

~Anthonystjoseph

     So it was with great horror that I sat and watched as the harpooner raised his hand in a celebratory fist after killing one of God’s greatest creatures.  And if you don’t believe in God, let’s just say the whale is one of Earth’s greatest creatures.  To see the blood and hear the scream of these majestic creatures was more than my seriously in need of sleep self could take.  As I watched and realized that Japan’s love of whale meat and its belief that whale meat is an aphrodisiac is what feeds this insane act of humanity I came to an awakening.  I realized that my Toyota in my garage has paid for WHALEMEAT!  I realized that anything that I own which was built in Japan is paying to KILL WHALES!  When I turn in this Toyota for my next car I guarantee you it will NOT BE A JAPANESE MADE AUTO!  This is the official announcement of my personal boycott against all things Japanese until they stop this horrible act of murder on the high seas of beings that are most likely more intelligent than us free will having humans. 

     I’m going to get a hamburger.  And I don’t want to hear anything about cows.  Cows are dumb ~ You know they’re dumb because they only make ‘white milk’, if they were smart they would make chocolate and strawberry.  Then I would have their back and point out their intelligence.  It’s called comic relief.  Please join me in never purchasing anything Japanese again until they change this senseless act of murder on the high seas. 

By Anthonystjoseph

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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Did You Just Slap Me?


 


DID YOU JUST SLAP ME?!

by

Anthonystjoseph



     For about the last year my reality television fixation has taken an ugly turn…  I have been a fan of this new form of entertainment since I was a young kid and the first version titled ‘Real World’ appeared on the scene with seven kids in New York who were my age…  I later ran into Tami Roman of ‘Basketball Wives’ fame in California when we were both young sprouts and she was filming or had just finished her season of ‘Real World’, I’ll tell you about our encounter later.  This new turn my ‘reality’ palate has taken is what some would call ‘ethnic’ shows like ‘Love & Hip Hop’, ‘Basketball Wives: Los Angeles’, and ‘Basketball Wives’ itself.  All these shows are similar in the fact that you have these UGLY WOMEN attacking sometimes smaller women, sometimes prettier women, and sometimes wealthier women, but it’s always stemming from a basic jealousy that is attributed to something else that is clearly not a reason to strike somebody…  She stopped talking to me, “I’m gonna slap HER!”  REALLY?!

     I had gone through a couple of years of hearing about ‘Basketball Wives’ and easily, as everyone has, grasped the fact that it was a popular show.  I don’t like watching anything that I haven’t seen from the beginning so I decided to jump into the fray when ‘Basketball Wives: Los Angeles’ premiered…  It was a banal and silly show with women I could develop no affinity towards.  There was one interesting character on the Los Angeles version that was very attractive and clearly outshined the other characters as far as entertainment quality plus her supposed history with Chris Brown after Rhianna.  The other women were having none of it and then decided to put this little ninety pound girl in a ring with an overweight bitter societal castoff who proceeded to beat and pummel the little ninety pound beauty within an inch of her screaming ‘UNCLE’!  She took that beating like a trooper though.  I did say she dated Chris Brown didn’t I?  Just checking.

     Lord, I promised a friend I wouldn’t write about these shows but sometimes I can’t help it…  Something has to be said!  So after the ‘Throw momma from the train’ character on ‘Basketball Wives: LA’ beat up the little teenage beauty queen I was done with that show and disgusted with the obvious misplaced jealousy.  I hadn’t had enough…  I decided to check out this ‘Love & Hip Hop’ and it drug me in...

     On ‘Love & Hip Hop’ the big bitter betty is this girl named Chrissy who has everyone on the show scared of her.  This woman named Chrissy who’s married to some rapper named John, or something, I don’t know who he is, but he IS an interesting character; this Chrissy walks around like she will beat up Mike Tyson if he says something wrong to her.  It’s almost comical the way she looks at EVERYONE when they’re talking to her as if, ‘SAY THE WRONG THANG!’…  She’s mentally inebriated in her own masculinity and genetically confused by some misplaced chromosomes.  She’s got some serious issues and I have no affinity for any of her editions.

     All in all, the ‘Love & Hip Hop’ show was entertaining with the Chrissy-don’t-worry-me attitude of Yandy Smith, an upwardly mobile entertainment manager and entrepreneur and very bright personality.  There was a tinge of violence on ‘Hip Hop’ but sometimes things happen…  And for once it wasn’t a bully beat down.  It was like the simple cat fights that originally occurred on ‘Real World’ but here again we are dabbling into violence on others which we should NOT celebrate, condone, or laud because kids are watching.

     So after ‘Love & Hip Hop’ didn’t totally turn me off, I decided to watch the first and original of these three, titled plain and simply, ‘Basketball Wives’…  There was ol’ Tami Roman who I watched on the show ‘Real World’, where she let herself be manipulated by the ‘Evil Beth’, as we called her in my circles.  Tami, with the help of Beth, was taking out people’s careers back in those days as well (Meeka ~ where she go?), poor David on the ‘Real World’ and his bad prank never had a chance with Beth’s diabolical mind around; where did HE go?!  The first and last time I actually saw Tami Roman in person I felt like an antelope in Africa that had been separated from the herd and was being circled by a killer lioness who didn’t know if she wanted to bed me or eat me and I was scared of both prospects.

     I was about twenty one, twenty two years old when I walked into a building for a business appointment I had and all of a sudden I felt a warm HOT sensation in my nether lands and looked over to the direction of the psychic energy beam and it WAS Tami Roman from the ‘Real World’ and future ‘Basketball Wives’ star eyeballing me and making no bones about it…  It was like she lost all focus on anything but ME!  I kept eye contact, which seemed like a smart move, as she ignored all around her and honed in on her intended target, or as I was starting to feel, INTENDED PREY!  She was a pure predator in raw form I kid you not.  She was a skinny little thing back then.  She didn’t have on any makeup but she was clearly a VERY beautiful woman…  She looked like she took trophies though and I was her potential next trophy.

     She walked away from the woman talking to her who I think she no longer even heard as she slowly came towards me as a Cougar approaches its prey, as in not wanting to startle it, the prey(me!)…  I think if she would have made a quick move I might have tried to run and make a break for the door thinking I could get away and it probably would have proved fruitless; she looked pretty quick.  Even though she was younger than me by a year or two she still had me frightened…  There was something in the look.  She finally got to me as we were the only ones in the main room.  She then circled me as she looked me up and down as if my name was Kunta Kinte and I was on a block up for bidding.  I think I heard her say, “Show me your teeth”.  I stood there praying that master wouldn’t sell me to this mean lady because she didn’t look like she had good intentions…  She had me covering up my junk and trying not to tinkle on myself.

     All of a sudden the Jungle music faded as she let out a huff and a sniff and then walked off.  I sat there wondering what had just happened and wiped the sweat off my brow as I realized I had just had some type of encounter.  I think she saw me shaking and realized I wasn’t worth the kill.  A baby fish she threw back in the water until it grew more.  Say what you will but I was thankful for another day.

     So, I’m watching my first season of ‘Basketball Wives’, which is most people’s fourth season, and I am finding it enjoyable.  Apparently Evelyn and Tami (go figure) are the two figures on the show that everyone is scared of because they are capable of violently attacking you at anytime.  Tami announces regularly that she cannot control herself and if you get too close or say the wrong thing or don’t say the right thing or don’t do the wrong thing at the right time or…  There are so many rules that she tells the girls will get them ‘POPPED’ that they are all scared to chew and talk at the same time around her…  It seems that the Evelyn Lozada character has survived a round with Tami and so this gives her ‘street cred’.  From what I see, if Evelyn found herself in a true ‘street’ situation, she would be in serious trouble.  Stop with the antics and all the ‘fronting’ Evelyn, you’re not that tough.  YOU are not about THAT life.

     Then there’s another woman on the show named Jennifer Williams who has a listed net worth on Celebrity Net Worth of Twenty Five Million Dollars so you know there is some deep seeded juvenile feelings of envy towards her which are disguised under other titles.  Jennifer is the ex-wife of some guy named Eric Williams and I don’t know who he is either.  OH! He plays basketball!  DUH!  Jennifer sent letters from her attorney to Shaunie O’Neal (Producer), Tami, Evelyn, etc… informing them that she would SUE anyone who attacked or touched her.  In a lunch gathering that was designed in the ‘get-jennifer’ theme, all plots and plans were put in place to pull a serious mean girl event.  Evelyn Lozada’s assistant is all up in arms over the fact that ‘Jennifer’ won’t talk to her anymore…  The assistant then decides that this behavior of ‘Jennifers’ warrants a beat down.  How dare you not talk to me ANYMORE!  Wow, really!  She proceeds to get up and walk around the table and SLAP Jennifer Williams with all her might.  Jennifer Williams then, without missing a beat, utters one of my favorite lines of the year, she says, “Someone needs to put a number on this b*tch and let her race around the track because she’s acting like an animal”.

     Jennifer Williams has now become one of my heroes for 2012.  She has pressed criminal charges against the woman who slapped her for the sake of the cameras and has also filed a civil suit.  The violence perpetuated on these reality shows is teaching our kids the wrong thing and clearly sending out the wrong messages as in this type of behavior towards your fellow man is acceptable when in fact it is NOT. 

     There has been much mention on the internet of a contract that these women signed to be on ‘Basketball Wives’ and in that contract that they sign it states that they are accepting that they may be hit or experience violence as a result of ‘participating in the project’…  That may be true but what is definitely true is that Jennifer Williams sought LEGAL COUNSEL and I’m sure she told him of signing that disclaimer…  What Shaunie O’Neal needs to understand as she seemed not to at the ‘get-jennifer’ luncheon when she said, “Why did she send me a copy of the letter?”  She, or better yet her attorney, sent you that letter telling YOU she would sue because you are the executive producer and that letter SUPERSEDED any previous legal statement from her in regards to ‘TOUCHING HER’.  Jennifer Williams’s attorney amended that contract and the slapper is going to get SLAPPED in court.  I am thankful to Jennifer Williams for her courage in standing up to bullying and the possible ridicule she’ll get for acting like what some would say is a punk.  I think she is one of the most courageous people I’ve seen on one of these reality shows. 

     The bottom line for us all in this new phase of our entertaining ourselves is that we seriously need to pull back on the violence in all areas of our lives; sports, television, music, literature, & thoughts.  We are leading mankind down a path that will do us all harm in the end.  We should try to leave the ‘Thunder Dome’ in the movie of the same name and not drag our future generations unsuspectingly into it.

by

Anthonystjoseph



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