BONUS TRACK: 'The Arrival of A Prince'

 

THE ARRIVAL OF A PRINCE

by

Anthonystjoseph

     Suddenly, as it often happens, the person awakes not knowing where they are…  A new arrival has come…  He awakes on the floor of an elevator and is quite unaware of where he is.  He is slightly delirious but slowly regains his bearings.  He doesn’t understand why he is standing and at the same time staring at his body lying on the floor of his very own elevator.  Why does his body look pale and why are his eyes closed.  He turns towards the elevator doors and as they open he sees a remarkable world of light.  He walks out of the door of the elevator and sees a golden path leading him in a certain direction.

     For some strange reason he decides to leave his body behind and follow the path of the golden road.  He hears a voice in the distance and recognizes it as an old friend.  The voice elegantly, soothingly, and with an ethereal quality sings, “Hey! Did you happen to see!? My sweet baby…  He was walking on down the road...”  He sees where the voice is coming from and it’s a beautiful house with a large picture window in front and he sees a silhouette of a woman singing into a microphone behind sheer curtains and a golden light and knows immediately who it is.  The woman’s voice is completely recognizable to his ears.  He is completely drawn to the house.  He walks towards the home as the woman continues to sing and for the first time since the elevator, he starts to smile…

      He walks up to the door of the house.  The door opens and a blinding light emerges but doesn’t alter or distort his vision in any way and he sees that all of his friends are gathered there and they smile with faces of joy and welcome him home…

By

Anthonystjoseph

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LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF: Buildng a Ladder

 

LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF: Building a Ladder

by

Anthonystjoseph

     Becoming a person who knew how to love his self wasn’t easy for me.  Growing up with a father who wasn’t there and didn’t even care or want to be there.  Growing up with that very same father eventually telling me he never wanted to be there.  Growing up with a father who didn’t love me and a mother who tried her best to believe that she loved me was clearly not a formula for a child to be secure or even believe that he as a child was worthy of love.

     As that child, I wondered what I was even born for and more importantly, why was I born?  There were numerous times when I shouted at my distant mother, “I didn’t tell you to have me!”

     But as that child I was blessed with that ever present quality of hope…

     Even though my mother rarely touched me as a child due to her own issues of having an unwanted child out of wedlock in her puritanical mind…  Even though her subconscious mind seemed to hate that child and manifest that hate in a multitude of ways…  Even though she faced these multiple hurdles in her effort to love me…  Even though, she still managed to say words that I heard through her pain and her sorrow…  She still managed to say certain words that I heard.

     Those words that seeped through her obvious torture were like ladders of hope that my soul heard down deep.  I grew up not liking myself and not feeling like anyone themselves could even like me and my environment continually supported that belief.  As an adult I was still that same unlikeable child in my mind…  Still that same unlikeable person.  I was not liked.  I was not loved.  I could not be loved.

     Yet, my soul still held onto those ladders of words that crept out of my mother’s mouth on certain occasions.  I decided to search for ladders of hope on my own.  I decided to read.  I decided to listen.  I decided to find my own ladders and I did.  I did finally, and I have finally, come to a person who is able to and actually does love myself.

     I will say this, it is at the cost of a lot of broken ladders throughout my life that I learned that the only ladder of love you can trust is your own.  There is no person, no spirit, no friend, no love, or no God that can give you a ladder to learn to love yourself other than yourself when you were born with broken ladders from the very beginning.  You have to chop down the wood and build the ladder yourself and I have learned and did learn to do that difficult task and for that I thank myself, my soul, and my spirit.

     I learned to love myself…  The real truth though; I’ve always loved myself.  It took that love of myself to yearn, crave, and desire to build my very own ladder.  I just had to build that ladder back to me myself in order to enjoy the truth of loving myself again.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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COMMENTARY: Shonda!

 

SHONDA!

by

Anthonystjoseph

     Stars are celestial bodies surrounded by planets and moons that are drawn into their orbits by their own extreme gravitational pulls.  The larger and more brilliant the star…  The more planets and moons in their orbits.  In our world, we call people who shine for many of us to see; we call them stars.  Well, normally I write about spiritual topics or outright comedy and try to tell entertaining spiritual stories and even do my best to spread what I feel are pearls of wisdom…  This time I have chosen to talk about a current star in our universe who herself has several planets and moons drawn into her orbit and assist in letting us all know that she is a star of reckon…  And that star is the writer Shonda Rhimes who continually dazzles me with her words conveying dynamic stories and who has occasionally inspired me to think about filing a class action law suit to compensate for the loss of salt to my body when she draws a constant flow of fluid salt drops from my eyes with her various plot manipulations that drive my soul to say, “Why!?”

     I’ll never forget the first time she made me cry.  It was when she used an oft favored ploy of hers of killing off a beloved character…  It was the young and passionate doctor known as ‘Dr. George O’Malley’ that was struck by a bus in an accident that left him unidentifiable to his fellow doctors as they unknowingly treated him as a tragically disfigured patient that none of them even knew was there coworker…  The simple tragedy in my world as I watched the story unfold; I knew it was him from the beginning as they stood over his bed and pitied the poor ‘supposedly’ unknown soul they were tending…  I sat in my living room bawling my eyes out and silently screaming in pain through tears, “That’s him! That’s George!”  I love her for making me feel so deeply for fictional characters that bring life…  The beauty is that she has the ability to make one feel.  That is all you can ask for from a writer and that is all a writer can ask for from themselves; to make people feel.

     Now she has given birth to this incredible creature that is played by one of the planets in her celestial system named Viola Davis!  My God, no one in the world could have brought this character named Alysse to life in such a manner other than Viola and that is what a good planet does.  A good planet that is supported by a star like Shonda lets you know; you can only live life on my surface!  And the character of Alysse seems like she could only have breathed life on the planet of Viola!

     There is never a time that I have seen Viola Davis take off her wig and ‘face’ in the show ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ that I haven’t just stared in awe at this beautiful planet called Viola with complete awe…  She is a masterpiece in humanity and thank the Universe that we all get to see her share her humanity with us in such a remarkable way.  You might say that aesthetically Viola is not what is considered an attractive woman to you; but to me when she takes off her face of makeup and wig and looks in the camera with an unmatched dignity, I see one of the most beautiful people on the planet staring at me.  This is a woman who knows and loves herself without the denial of others beauty.  She is accepting of HER beauty and it is real.  I actually love her.

     Okay, I’m going to let this Shonda thing lay because I could go on and on and she still hasn’t answered my calls to be one of her showrunners, but keep in mind…  If you haven’t made yourself aware of this woman’s abilities than you need to get on it!

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Homage to Writers

 

HOMAGE TO WRITERS

by

Anthonystjoseph

     Every so often I get mad at myself and feel that I have let the universe down because I haven’t created and spread as many of my stories as possible during my lifetime.  And then I watch, see, or read a story or program like ‘House of Lies’, to name one, where a writer puts together the words, “If an abortion clinic were a Subway you would already qualify for a free sandwich” and I die with joy after laughing and knowing that there are other writers out there with my wit… 

     My favorite writers are John Irving, Richard Bach, and even Harold Robbins himself who believably penned a nurse using her own personal technique of pure raw sex to give a paraplegic the ability to walk again.  And I can never share these sentiments without mentioning the first author to ever get me to love the ability to read and that author was Jacqueline Susann.  I had used my documented above average intelligence to graduate from high school with honors without ever reading a complete book or novel and had no desire too.  I had even started writing my first book before ever completely reading one.  It was the gift of a Jacqueline Susann novel showing up in my life and then going on a long field mission in the Army when I opened the book and consequently opened a whole new world of travel through reading; immersing myself into an alternate world through words.  I will never forget how hard I laughed in reading her novel when she had a character go into the bathroom not feeling well and having “an explosive bowel movement”; her book was incredible and I almost forgot I was on field duty in the Army while reading her words.  I came home from field duty and in an extremely excited state told a good friend how fascinated I was with this new concept of reading a good book.

     The friend, who was also in the Army, just kept looking at me and smiling while I described my joy in detail.  In hindsight, it seemed this friend was more than a friend but someone who knew what was happening.  It seems in hindsight that this friend knew something more because as he smiled and my joy waned in exhaustion at explaining it, my friend stood up.  He seemed to know that he was completing his mission and the writer was born and set on his path; me.  He went to a drawer and then pulled out a first edition book and then handed it to me and said, “If you liked that book so much, you should read this.”  He had handed me a first edition copy of James Baldwin’s ‘Just Above My Head’. 

     The universe wanted to solidify the love of reading and writing with me and with James Baldwin’s book ‘Just Above My Head’ the deed was done.  I loved Jacqueline Susann’s book and it introduced me to entertaining words but I fell deeply into an abyss of adoration with James Baldwin’s book.

     Other writers give me comfort…  Writers like Aloe Blacc and his cowriters who wrote, “God made my mold different from the rest; then he broke that mold so I know I’m blessed…”  I love writers.  I love wit.  I love creation.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

 

ASHES TO ASHES ~ DUST TO DUST

by

Anthonystjoseph

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust

I need to say this

It’s something I must

 

There is no end in the dust

There is no end to the lust

There is no end in the dust

Where your soul will rust

 

You will live on

Your soul will be free

This is a message

From more than me

 

Some will say

It’s the dust you should fear

Some will say

My words are not clear

 

It’s not the end that I worry

It’s not the end that I fear

My complete resolve

Comes from the voice in my ear

By

Anthonystjoseph

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The Answers

 

THE ANSWERS

by

Anthonystjoseph

     The answers are on an evolving scorecard in a revolving orbit on a revolving world in an evolving universe. 

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Love

 

LOVE

by

Anthonystjoseph

I lived so many lives

Looking for you

I said so many goodbyes

Waiting for you

 

You were always the one

As I said before

You were always the one

Even death couldn’t ignore

 

You will always be mine

I will always be yours

Throughout all of time

It’s our love that soars

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Be Weak

 

BE WEAK

by

Anthonystjoseph

I know you need me

I can feel you in my sleep

I know you need me

Let yourself be weak

 

The love I feel for you

My heart detects as true

The love I feel for you

Would make your soul say I do

 

And let me say this clear

I want to whisper in your ear

If it’s love you seek

You have to let yourself be weak

By

Anthonystjoseph

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Your Light

 

YOUR LIGHT

by

Anthonystjoseph

     When darkness surrounded me in its oceanic proportions, you shone through like a star in the night.  I want to thank you for that because my soul still needs hope.  I crave for hope.  I live for hope.  And because of lights like yours, I will die with hope.

     Your light shines bright and I thank you for that. 

By

Anthonystjoseph

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What I Write Part II

 

WHAT I WRITE PART II

by

Anthonystjoseph

     In February, I gave you the story of love about Cassandra and the Eternals which was a story I crafted about spiritual love.  True, it was a story with Anthonystjoseph turns and spiritual ups and downs that you know I like to craft, but it was a story of true love.  I warned you that all of my writings in March were going to be about darkness which we all have to experience in our world where the Sun always goes down.  I felt bad about sharing a lot of night so I told myself in February when I planned out March’s works of sharing necessary darkness I was intended to share that I would spread nothing but light in the following month of April in everything I printed.  I planned then at that time in February that the month following March would be the month of love and that month would be April.

     I always meet people in my daily life who seem to enjoy my presence and I theirs.  Of course I meet others that I could do without meeting but I love the encounters that seemed deigned to happen that end in positive results. 

     I have been down lately because of certain events in my life that I have wanted to go this way but they have chosen to go that way.  I am in a part of the country at this present time after having traveled for the last three years that I had no idea I would be in and did not want to be in.  As usual, I am still enjoying my life but I really pictured and envisioned another part of the country for myself at this point.  But since I turned my life over to the higher powers of the universe and said, “I’ll let you be the guide”; I have been guided and led to magical places and so I must follow. 

     I met a young woman in February before I started writing and sharing some words from the ‘dark of night’ and shared nice words with her as she had chosen to share sentiments with me.  Then all of a sudden she uttered those words that I believe, those words we all hear, those words I currently curse; she said in response to my disdain of this city I am in, “Everything happens for a reason!”

     I gritted my teeth because at times I want to shake people who say such a thing as ‘everything’ which in itself is ludicrous because I of all people share and believe in the very sentiment the words provoke.  But there are times when even I with all of my proof, fall into dark shadows of despair; yes, the mischievous spirits of the night even deter me who has seen the light and the fruits of spirituality so many times that God himself and the universe has probably said, “Do I have to prove myself to that boy AGAIN!”

     I stood there and smiled as she said again, “Everything happens for a reason.”  I smiled and our conversation continued and I shared some more words of my own learned wisdom with her and then we parted.  I went home and wrote some words to her as I knew I would see her again.  The next time I saw her, in the month of March, our conversation picked up as if it had never stopped as we shared and smiled continually at each other.  I reiterated how I just never planned on ending up in the city that we are in and how I was desperately wanting to leave it.  She went into the ol’ ‘everything happening for a reason’ line and she actually said she was praying I didn’t leave!  I told her ‘how dare she’ and we both laughed pretty hard.  I told her I would say bye when I left!  We laughed again.

     Then I told her about the words I had written about meeting her and how her words inspired and gave me a charge of hope into my sinking feelings at the time.  I told her I would share the words with her that she inspired me to write. 

     It is the middle of March now and I am in the middle of sharing my words that I consider harsh.  I reread the words that I came home upon meeting her the first time and had written.  I hadn’t decided if I would put them in a card for her or how I would deliver the words that she put into my heart with her presence.  As I reread the words, I realized that they were another piece for me to publish; they were true words, as all my words are, of deeper meaning, and meant to be shared with all.  They were in my opinion, words of wisdom.  I love it when my heart speaks eloquently and I consider it a gift.  She made me feel hope and I wanted to thank her and let her know that she was a person who spread hope.  My words stated it very well as I read them.

     I decided that the words were words of Love and were perfect for the month of April which I had decided in February would only be a month of Love.  I titled the piece, ‘Your Light’. 

     All of a Sudden it hit me!  I had to ask her what was her name since the last time we met was at her job and I had never looked at her name tag.  We had just conversed like old friends who knew each other as I have a tendency to do with people.  So it hit me that I had to ask her name; when I asked her name she pointed to her name tag and I saw it, she said, “My name is April”.

By

Anthonystjoseph

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